How to forgive treason husband and continue to live on

Preserving warm relations during family life is a heavy, daily work of both spouses. Unfortunately, not everyone succeeds, and as a result of frequent quarrels or lack of attention, treason happens, and most often from her husband.

No matter how the wrong spouse did not try to hide the deed, sooner or later the wife recognizes about it, and then it will be a difficult choice in front of it - to divorce or try to keep marriage. In this article, I will tell you how to forgive betray and not remember it, and I will tell you in what cases it is worth parting.

Is it possible to forgive betray?

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If there is strong love in the family, then all obstacles are overcome. It doesn't matter why the husband has changed his wife - every person can make a mistake, the main thing is to realize it and sincerely repent. If a woman wants to preserve relationships, she will have to try to forgive his wrong spouse, but he, in turn, must also make efforts to bring confidence in itself.

Just forget about what happened will be impossible. Even if the woman gives a promise to himself and her husband, which will not remember a betrayal, and will prevent anything that nothing happened, after a couple of days the emotions will be flooded, which she will not be able to keep. Each time it will end with a scandal, and gradually the relationship will only deteriorate. The problem must be spoken, and together finding a way to solve it, but to restrain anger, offense and experiences - this is not a way out.

It is important to understand that not every betrayal deserves forgiveness. To do this, there must be weighty arguments. Otherwise, a man can stop respecting his spouse, and decides that it is entitled to make such actions, because she will close his eyes.

As a rule, a woman is ready to forgive betrayal if there is quite good relations in the family and there are joint children. Also on its decision on further joint residence will influence the material dependence on the man or the lack of their own living space. If the difficulties with which the woman will have to face after the divorce are insignificant and quite overcome, and the relationship has changed for the worse, then it is worth thinking about parting.

It is categorically impossible to give another chance to her husband in the event that he:

constantly changes;
does not consider sex with another woman betrayal;
refuses to recognize in the deed even, if there is evidence;
In everything accuses the spouse.

Listed factors are indicators that a man never change. He does not respect his wife, and she is not so important for him so that he refuses his own pleasures.

7 steps to forgiveness

The path to forgiveness is very long and complicated, so do not think that you will be able to forget the betrayal of the husband literally in a week. If a woman really wants to keep marriage, she will have to learn the restraint and wisdom. Psychologists recommend starting from the following steps:

Straight Talk. When the emotions calm, should be frankly talking to her husband, but not at elevated colors, but as calmly and constructively. It is important to keep yourself in your hands, not to insult and not blame. Give your spouse to explain what prompted it to treason. It should also be understood as he sees your further relationship, and what is ready to do for reconciliation. During the conversation, pay attention to the behavior and gesticulation of a man to understand how sincere it is.
Pity - no! Women are often inclined to blame themselves that the husband "went to the left", but this cannot be done in any case. He is an adult, and must be responsible for his actions. If something was not satisfied with the relationship, he had to discuss it with his wife, and find a solution, instead of sleeping with another woman. Accusing yourself, you will not forgive my spouse, and stay with him from pity, but not for the sake of love for him.
Switch attention. For forgiveness, her husband will need a lot of time, so to constantly not think about his betrayal, it is recommended to switch their attention to other things. If there are children - surround them with attention and love, try to spend more time with them. If there are no children, then plunge into work. Daily fuss and permanent employment will help to distract bad thoughts. Another good option is a new fascinating hobby.
A little egoism does not hurt. Small women's joys, such as shopping, hike in a beauty salon, hike in a cafe with girlfriends and so on, perfectly help forget about the negative. It is more often to indulge yourself, do what I used to refuse yourself, and soon notice that you remember much more rarely, the mood is always beautiful, and self-esteem has significantly increased.
Do not refuse help and support. Many women prefer to experience treason alone. Some do not want to have spare them, others believe that they can cope independently, and the third is ashamed that it happened to them, and fear of condemnation. Psychologists are strongly recommended not to close, but ask for helpful people. Talk to those who trust, ask what he would do in your place. The more often you will vote the problem - the less tragic it will seem to you.
Taba on reproaches and reminders. If you want to save the family, then after a frank conversation with my husband, do not remind him of treason and do not reproach to the deed. We'll have to be patient, and each time in a rush of emotions to remind yourself that no one is immune from mistakes, the main thing is that he is aware of it.
Temporarily separation. Continue to live with a traitor's husband and pretend that nothing was tried is difficult. In order for anger and resentment a little cold, it is worth spending some time. It is best to change the furnishings of a woman. It is recommended to go to the resort or visit relatives for 1-2 weeks. Temporary separation will help streamline thoughts and even get bored with his beloved scoundrel.

How to forgive betrayal husband - Tips of psychologists

Upon learning of betrayal, it is difficult to maintain composure, but if she decided to continue relations with her husband, she will have to learn to control his emotions, and rationally approach the solution of this problem. To preserve the family, psychologists recommend guided by the following advice:

No need to panic and arrange hysterics, because the spiritual wound will soon heal, and the relationship with her husband can change irrevocably. It is also not necessary to start finding out the relationship with outsiders, or complain about the wrong spouse to friends and relatives.
It is necessary to find a way to get rid of negative emotions. Someone helps sports or music, and someone beating the dishes. The main thing is that the chosen way of clearing anger does not harm you nor others.
Do not pushe your husband and do not close it from it, because the frank conversations in a calm tone will only benefit.
Do not take revenge with my spouse the same coin. This will lead to the final destruction of the relationship. In addition, the woman is psychologically difficult to decide on treason, but if it is committed, it will continue to suffer from remorse.
See more often with friends and attend entertainment events, instead of spending time alone.
Do not try to learn something about a woman with whom you changed my husband. And even more so you should not see it with her or communicate.
Start keeping a diary in which you will record all your thoughts. This method helps to get rid of anger and resentment. You can also write a letter to my husband, and then burn it, representing how everything is bad.
At the moments of emotional stress, it is recommended to make a somewhat deep breath, and slowly count to ten. This method will allow you to relax, and rationally think about your actions.

How to forgive treason husband and live on?

Having learned about the treason of her husband, the attitude towards him changes. There is a mistrust and the desire to control it. Woman begins to question all his words and actions. But if she decided to keep the family, he would have to learn to trust their partner again, but he should also take an active part. To speed the tragedy, the spouses need to work on improving the relationship, and the following will help in this:

Take the signs of attention and compliments, because in this way the husband is trying to upline his guilt, and show that you are the roads.
You do not need to be a victim, and constantly dramatize the situation, reminding your spouse about his mistake.
Watch yourself as before, not trying to dominate to humiliate your husband.
Start spending time together to return the proximity and romance in the relationship. It can be a joint watching film, an interesting business, shopping or hike in a restaurant.
If there are joint children, then you need to spend the whole family as often as possible, it will help to remind you of feelings and for what you decide to forgive betray.

Of course, the betrayal of the spouse leaves the imprint on the relationship, and just forget about it is impossible. But if the partners really want to save the family, and are ready to make efforts for this, they will be able to survive this tragedy. If it does not work independently with the problem, it is recommended to contact a family psychologist who will help to establish relationships.

RESULTS

You can forgive my husband to betray, but it takes time and great effort.
In some cases, you should not give a second chance to a man - it is better to divorce.
In order to pass a betrayal faster, you can not keep emotions in yourself and pretend that nothing happened.