How to survive a divorce with her husband is easily and painless

Divorce is not just parting with once expensive and beloved person. This is a collapse of plans for a joint future, a steep vioration in life path, global lifestyle change. After the divorce begins a new independent life sometimes with a child in her arms. How to survive a divorce with her husband so that there are no scarns from wounds on the heart?

We will talk about it in the article. My classmate was able to adapt to an independent life without a husband, surviving a divorce and betrayal on his part with the help of the councils of a psychologist and psychotechnic. And you will also manage to learn how to live yourself without a traitor in bed.

Psychological stages of divorce

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There are only five of them, but each stage solves a very important psychological problem and opens up new horizons to a happy full-fledged life without a former husband.

Stages of adaptation:

1. confusion and despair;
2. insult and anger;
3. guilt;
4. depression;
5. Humility and adoption.

These 5 stages are similar to the circles of hell, which the soul passes after death. But after all, the divorce is also death, the death of the family. And you need to perceive the situation with a divorce as death with which you need to accept. All the same, the former relationship is not to return, everything is spoiled and destroyed. Someone breaks because of the treason of the spouse, someone breaks up because of the drunkenness of her husband, and someone cannot endure the quarrels and scandals. There are enough reasons for the divorce, it is only one reason for happiness - mutual love.

Confusion and despair

When the family is destroyed, the heart fills the longing and despair. At one point, all the dreams and hopes were collapsed for a joint future, on the calm old age and the pleasure of grandchildren. Now each of the spouses will go their own way, and the way will never cross. During this period, a woman needs a sense of security, because it just losted it with parting.

At this stage, the woman is experiencing a deep stress comparable to the funeral of an expensive person. The brain is in stupor, refusing to analyze what is happening. This is a protective reaction of the body for a psychotramp. From the outside the woman may look even indifferent, but in the depths of the soul she is experiencing grief.

A woman is trying by all their might prevent divorce, but this is just adopting anesthetic - temporary anesthesia. Trani does not pull, and the husband has become different - and he decided to leave. Of course, he goes to another woman who considered better and sexier. Oddly enough, sometimes divorce brings liberation. But this awareness will come much later. In the meantime, you just need to adapt to change.

Resentment and anger

The next stage is marked by a feeling of anger and burning offend. This is, oddly enough, positive feelings. They suggest that the adaptation process is moving successfully. The main thing is not to linger at this stage longer than the laid. Health need to spill out of himself, and psychotechnics will help (there are a lot of them). Unhappy can not be stored in the shower: it will eat from the inside, poisoning poison. At this stage, you can try to close Gestalt - put a fat point on the relationship, sum up the final feature. It is necessary to start a new life. If Gestalt does not close, the whole negative will put in relations with a new man.

Tips for a psychologist about how to survive a divorce with her husband, always help. At this stage, the main thing is to realize that the offense and anger will not help return the relationship and start a new novel. When all the thoughts are engaged in experiences about the past, it does not have time or forces to create a new future. Therefore, you need a single volitional impulse just to force yourself to stop killing on the dead marriage - it is not revived. Yes, and our ancestors have long told that they will not help with tears. Crying do not cry, but no sense.

Guilt

If a woman could not close Gestalt with a former husband, then he moves to a new stage of adaptation - the feeling of guilt. She begins to look for something like that, because of what the marriage collapsed. She no longer blames the former husband / her parents / his parents / girlfriends in his grief, now she is blamed already. She begins to remember those moments from living together when it could deal differently, scroll through the dialogues in the head. But it's all useless, because the relationship died.

On a note! If the feeling of guilt becomes dominant and uncontrollable, the day and night tears flow - you need to urgently ask for help from a psychotherapist. Such a state may end up with hospitalization in the PND.

Depression

After experienced anger, resentment, guilt and despair comes depression. This is another step of adaptation, if the previous ones have been experienced without special mental losses. Depression is similar to the state after the funeral of an expensive person, when it is difficult to accept a loss. When you do not know what to do in an empty apartment, and no one can help. Empty walls at home, empty bed, empty husband's favorite chair, empty saucepan for borscht. It is very hard to survive, but maybe.

The most important thing is not attempting to fill the mountain alcohol. You need to look at the problem with sober eyes.

At this stage it is important to understand that the void need to fill something. Ways to fill emptiness enough:

• Record a child in a new section or a circle, take an active part in its new hobby;
• Sign up in any club in interests, find there many new acquaintances (the dance club helps well);
• engage in volunteering, help the needy;
• become a member of the animal assistance society;
• find yourself in creativity;
• take work at home;
• Find a part-time job.

At all times, people knew that the work was saved from depression and feelings. When a person is loaded on the ears, there is no time for bitter thoughts. When in the evening we are from the feet of fatigue, there is no time to indulge in sad memories. This technique needs to be applied at this stage of adaptation to a new life.

Humility with inevitable

This stage marks the feeling of the inevitability of what happened. If the woman successfully survive the previous 4 stages, then at this stage of adaptation will come to mention. When a person came up with the inevitable, then there is no need to worry. At this stage, many begin to evaluate the advantage of life in a divorce: each woman finds such advantages that dreamed of themselves.

At this stage, it is important to understand that the divorce happened, because the relationship was not satisfied. It was just a desire to free himself from oppressive relationships, and a woman in this situation is not a victim. Yes, there was no family life, but this can happen with each. But now there is freedom for self-expression, personal time in excess and other benefits. The main thing is to stop making a victim of circumstances: a lot of interesting and new in front.

New marriage

After the experience of family life, a woman already knows what she expects her new marriage. Conclusions were made, work was carried out on errors - and ahead of a new happy future. Tips How to survive the divorce always helps those who want to take them into account. Therefore, hope for a bright future will not be very hot, but burns with a bright flame.

But there is one cunning underwater stone: in no case cannot be used new relationships in order to easier to survive the gap with her husband. If you choose a man as a calming agent, then you can suffer from an overdose of medication. And then the sedative will turn into poison - and again you need to experience a new break of relationships. The surcharge "All men's guys" did not help, because every woman knows that it is not.

When is it best to make a new relationship with another man? Only after all stages of adaptation, when the mental state is completely normalized. Otherwise you will simply be used in anything no obey as a sedative. This is generally not honest, not in Christian. The new marriage should be new, not updated.

New relationships should begin with gratitude to fate for the chance to gain new happiness. Do not feel like a failure and victim of injustice, and perceive the circumstances as a chance to gain real happiness. Just do not drag old problems in new relationships: Close Gestalt with the former.