The creation of a family is one of the main life goals of almost every girl. They dream of marrying children and live happily before the Donets of their Days. But, unfortunately, not everyone succeeds to embody the conceived scenario into life. Quite often, guys do not want to burden themselves with marriages, although they are in relations not one year.
I live with a loved one in a civil marriage, but he is in no hurry to make an offer me. From the frank conversation, he always sends, so I decided to turn to a psychologist to understand why the guy does not want to marry. In this article, I will talk about the main reasons for giving marriage and tell me how to carefully push the beloved to the adoption of an important decision.
Why does he not want to marry?
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If a man does not want to marry, he has a good reason for it. Unfortunately, representatives of strong sex do not like to be frankly, so women have only to guess why their beloved do that. According to psychologists, the unwillingness to marry can be explained by the following reasons:
- Unsuccessful example of parents. When a person since childhood is observing parents of parents, then for him the marriage will be associated with conflicts and problems. And if the boy had a chance to survive the divorce of the mother with the dad, he can grow with the idea that the marriage is necessarily ends with parting. Children's trauma is often preventing an adult man to build a healthy relationship. In addition, he simply may not know how to build a healthy relationship if he did not have the right example.
- Fear of responsibility. In a moral and emotional plan, the guys grow up much later than girls, therefore, the readiness for marriage is coming closer to 30 years. But it should be noted that some men even after 40 years are not ready to take responsibility and make a family. Often this is due to the uncertainty in itself or its position, but also irresponsibility may be a sign of human immaturity. Most of these guys prefer to spend time with friends, live with parents and have no stable source of income.
- Own negative experience. If the man broke up the first marriage, then to burden themselves with family bings for the second time he will not hurry. This may be associated with painful parting or desire to enjoy freedom. Pretty often powerful and demanding former wives beat off the hunt to re-acquire the family, because The man seems that the script will definitely repeat.
- The desire to remain independent. Men really appreciate their freedom and do not want to obey anyone. Many of them believe that they will lose independence, the wife will control every step and any decision will need to be taken together. Young guys especially cared that they will no longer be able to spend time with friends as much as they want, get acquainted with girls and much more.
- Creative person. Creative people are also afraid to lose their independence, but reluctance to marry is often explained by the fact that they are constantly in search of the muse. In their opinion, permanent relations with one woman will put a cross on their work, because in order to create masterpieces, such men need new emotions and experiences.
- Does not see sense. If a man in a daughting relationship gets everything he needs, he does not understand why to put a stamp in the passport. Such behavior is usually traced from those who live with a girlfriend in a civil marriage. Psychologists do not advise you to start a joint stay before marriage, because In most cases, such relationships end not with a wedding, but divorce. A civil marriage allows a man to get all the charm of married life, but at the same time does not burden the beloved obligations.
- No need to insist. Mature men are self-sufficient, so they are accustomed to all their decisions on their own. They do not like when they are trying to make something to do, and try to avoid those who have pressure on them or seeks to control. Such an important decision like a wedding, the guy must accept independently, and if he did not yet, he also doubted, but it is not necessary to eat.
- Different life goals. Couples in which people see their future in different ways, sooner or later sneak. The most common situation is when the girl wants children, and the guy seeks to build a career first. He understands that the creation of a family is currently not included in his plans, because It will prevent its development in the professional field. In addition, he realizes that at the moment is not able to provide his wife and child.
- No strong feelings. The most banal cause of giving marriage is the absence of real love. When the guy has strong feelings, he is trying to challenge his choices with all possible ways and, afraid to lose her, seeks to marry her as quickly as possible.
Types of men
To understand why a man does not want to marry and how to push it to this, you need to figure it out with what character he is and how best to behave with him. Representatives of strong sex in nature and behavior can be conditionally divided into 6 types:
- Rebel. Guys of this type are loud and quiet. If the first to all declare the reluctance to marry, the second behave secretly and prefer to eliminate themselves when they understand that the girl is waiting for his hands and hearts from him. The overall feature of the boysters is the desire to go against the rules and unwillingness to meet the expectations of someone. To marry such an personality, you need to go to the trick or, perhaps, even "take to weakly."
- Unconfident. Uncertain men always depend on someone else's opinion, and when making decisions used to rely on more authoritative people. It may be father, friend, boss or someone else. To push such a man to the beginning of a married life is not difficult, you only need to convince him that successful, rich people consider marriage with the right step. You can also bring the statistics that every successful and prosperous man has a caring wife. But it is important to remember that the manipulation should look unobtrusively, therefore it is not worthwhile to "stick up" the necessary information to the man in the head.
- Narcissistic. A man-Narcissus nourishes deep feelings exclusively to his own person and in life seeks to do everything only for himself and his good. Consequently, he will agree on marriage only if he sees in this benefit. A girl who wants to "drop" a self-free man is necessary to mention the delights of living together, making emphasis on comfort and care that a loving wife provides her husband.
- Ripple. Guys of this type are little concerned about in life. They are kind and open and most of all in the world do not want to disappoint loved ones or hurt them. If you convince the guy-rampant that the wedding will pay his relatives and friends, he will immediately make a sentence of his beloved.
- Pedant. In pedantic people, everything should be decomposed on the shelves, thoughts are ordered, plans are considered. If a woman wants to marry such a man, then she needs to talk directly to him. It is not necessary to speak abstract, but specifically, discussing the exact date of the wedding, the day of buying dresses and costume, a restaurant for a celebration, etc. It is also important to calculate the amount in advance that you have to spend. For thinking and making a decision, a pedant will be required for a while. Of course, he will contribute to the proposed "business plan" its own adjustments with which it is better to agree.
- Careful. For a man's "careful" type, it is important only what he owns, because it is "his" it is afraid of losing most in the world. So that he would rather decide to make an offer, you need to show my independence, arguing what is out of marriage you have no obligations in front of him and at any time you can rescue.
What can I do?
No matter how strong the desire to get married, the woman should know how not to behave with the beloved. Incorrect deed or rashly overturned phrase can fully ruin the relationship, and the beloved simply will run away. Psychologists advise to categorically prevent the following:- Permanent reminder of the wedding. If a man does not want to marry, then it is not worth a rush and daily remind of his desire. Remember, annoying behavior annoys and repels.
- The topic of marriage is a taboo for loved ones. When relatives and friends are constantly asked whether the wedding is soon, a man can subconsciously begin to oppose this event. Some women seem to be close people can help push the beloved to make an offer, but it is not. Rather, he will discern with a girl, just not to hear a constant mention of marriage. It is better to ask people from the nearest environments not to affect such a scrupulous theme.
- Ultimatum - no! Some girls naive believes that the ultimatum will help a man faster to decide on the wedding. In fact, this behavior just repels and scares, so the guy will find hundreds of excuses, so that only not to tie himself with married uzami with such a assertive special.
- No need to rush the events. If a wedding question was discussed in a pair, but the specific date was not coordinated, it means that the guy is not ready yet. Often, without seeing progress, girls begin to periodically remind of conversation or directly ask the question: "When will we go to the registry office?" But it is important to understand that the more often the question sounds, the more the guy doubts whether it needs it.
Unfortunately, there is no single recipe, how to push a man for marriage, because every person is individual, and it needs a special approach. A woman will have to show wisdom and gain patience, otherwise she can simply lose his beloved man because of their perseverance. Guys, despite their masculinity, are very indecisive, so they need time to decide on such a responsible step.
RESULTS
- The reluctance of men marry can be due to a variety of reasons.
- Each guy needs a special approach, taking into account his psychological and moral characteristics.
- Perseverance and assertiveness scares men, so you should not put them ultimatum and constantly remind of the wedding.