I am a practitioner family psychologist-sexologist. The second qualification received about seven years ago - the fact is that people are becoming more educated in terms of sex and want to improve their family life. And more than half of the problems in pairs, both in the young and in the long name of married - it is the problems with sex and with how two people look at him in different ways.
Existing stereotypes of sex make the situation only worse - there are terrible conflicts in families, which often lead to divorces. Women are confident that permanent sex with a man is the proof of his love, and if it becomes smaller, it means that the husband fought. This is true, but it happens completely differently. I will try to explain to you as precisely and consider the main reasons why men refuse to partners in proximity.
Why do men do not want sex?
Fatigue
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A frequent problem is actually. Women with children, remember the first years of the decree - constantly on the legs, thoughts are engaged in a child, there is no moment on themselves - what sex can we talk about? The same thing happens to a man if he works a lot or actively engaged in the house and family. Men also get tired and physically, and morally and also need a full-fledged vacation - a week without a normal sleep and in constant work - and your young man wants to only sleep in bed. If you see that the partner gets tired, understand this and do not press him. When a large voltage period passes, everything will come back.
Health problems
Jokes about men who go to doctors only after the spear begins to sleep, - not such a joke. As my practice shows, many men, regardless of earnings and character, may endure pain and discomfort, especially if we are talking about genitals. Many never attended the urologist and did not give up tests - even a frivolous disease in this case may cause complications, problems with potency and pain. In such a situation, a man will begin to refuse sex, but at the same time will not tell about the unpleasant sensations.
Low sex constitution
Sometimes it happens. Women are confident that all men are cars for sex that constantly want it. But if a rather large percentage of people who need sex is not so often - this is their nature. In the new relationship, the first months they can be more active, but then the hormones calm down and everything returns to their direction. With this it is necessary only to accept and look for some compromises."Peremoz"
The sexual revolution led to the fact that most women decided - sex can and need to demand. If not directly, it is indirectly - to wear sexy underwear, pester, literally enough for a member. Such advice to the journals - they say, bring fire to bed. In fact, such things are good only if the fire is burning like that. And if a man is already fightered with sex, the more you attack him, the more chances to get a refusal.
Imagine that you forced you every day there is a favorite dish. The first month you will be happy, the second - want something else, and the third will begin to nausea. Always leave a man a little hungry - it will also have more motivation, and in sex more fire.
You are preserved at conception
Not obvious, but frequent cause. The couple decides to have a child - a woman begins to lead a calendar, talking a lot about it, go to the doctor. Sex, in this case, often turns into some kind of duty - so, all, ovulation, let's go three times per night. Romance and animal start disappear from it. If you are trying to conceive a child, try less to focus on this attention precisely in bed.You look bad, and at home - mess
The situation is familiar to everyone - a woman in maternity leave and married, on the head - a bundle, the hair is a week ago, on the old T-shirt - a stain from the porridge of a child. Houses scattered toys and century dust. Of course, with young children it is difficult to follow, but simple cleanliness is love not only to her husband, but also to himself, and to the child. Please always try to keep your body and home in order. I'm not talking about heels and dresses of the house - just buy a cute home set, wash your head and instead of a bundle, tie the tail or braids.
Other
Unfortunately, it is impossible not to mention and about it. Treason and other woman also often become the reason that a man refuses his wife or a girl. Immediately note - the lack of sex is not always the reason to suspect treason! Think about this, only if you clearly see other signs of having a mistress. Because the charges may seriously undermine your relationship.He does not love you
It is even unpleasant to think about it, but it happens. It happens that the man sobbed, but continues to live with a woman for children or because it is convenient. Options for which it does not leave may be mass. Often, women do not even notice that there are no feelings, they think that a man is simply difficult. Please always notice the partner's attitude - is he attentive, is it happy, is it happy? If you do not too dwell on yourself, you will definitely understand if something went wrong.
What can be done?
- In any case, in no case prescribe, do not require, do not roll the scandals. Sex is a pure spontaneity, an area of subconscious. His efforts do not want it. But the pair of scandals on this topic can enjoy even powerful libido.
- Watch yourself, but do not overdo it. Not only because of love for her husband, but for themselves - be clean and tidy, keep yourself in order. In no case we are talking about constant make-up or stockings at home - just wash your head regularly, take care of the nails and face. Wear houses clean and neat clothes - not necessarily sexy, comfortable! But not old and dirty - it does not cause sexual emotions.
- We will persuade a man to check and go to the doctor. Do not do it through scandals, be soft and affectionate. Tell me that it was asked to send your gynecologist to the inspection - allegedly to eliminate some problems with you. Specify how he feels, does he have pain. The main thing here is to be very neat.
- If you see that the man is tired, support him and help. In every way trying to help him unload - maybe it is worth temporarily even take over his duties. Thankful, he will surely answer you the same when there is a need.
- Create houses comfort. Clean bed, pleasant aroma, fresh air and delicious food. I focus on - you should not actively create a sexy atmosphere - candles and so on. Just watch the houses clean and comfortably, if necessary, attract to cleaning and man. Because nestable underwear and stacks of dirty dishes everywhere can kill libido among especially squeamish.
- If you suspect the presence of another woman, immediately think about what you should do if you find out the truth. Will you get to fight? In any case, do not ride your hysteria, do not smoke by phone and social networks - respect yourself. If there are explicit signs, right ask.
- Manage the initiative, take themselves, but do not overdo it - if you see that a man is not being conducted - Kiss him and smile to deal with your affairs.
- Do not discharge from a man why he does not want. And at all, do not emphasize this attention. No - so no, lie together or deal with your business. Men are extremely unpleasant to realize that they are sexually not satisfying their own woman, and they can easily frown.
Briefly about the main thing
- The problem is when the guy or man does not want sex, is very common among couples. And no matter how long they are together and what are their age.
- Not all men constantly want sex and think a lot about him. There are such sex from nature, it is necessary to do something hard with it.
- In general, the reasons for which men refuse sex, quite a lot, and not always they mean that they do not like their women or have mistresses. However, it happens. The first thing to be done is to try to objectively understand what is the reason. And only then proceed to the decision.
- Do not press on a man, do not talk about it with him, do not require sex - this is the zone of pure subconsciousness, and everything will be worse from the scandals.
- Watch yourself - be always clean, tidy, dressed in neat clothes. By the way, it is worth it first for yourself, and then for a man.