With treachery faced almost everyone, very often it can be a psychological trauma. Surviving infidelity is quite difficult, especially if there is a close relationship between people. What to do in such a situation, may be advised by experienced psychologists.
How to survive infidelity
There is a saying that "a good leftist strengthens marriage", but this is not always the case. For many spouses infidelity can be a real tragedy. According to statistics, an event of severity is in third place after the death of the child and the parents.Find out what awaits you today - a horoscope for today for all zodiac signs
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Women often resign themselves to male infidelity, are of the fair sex is considered his behavior wise. Men are harder to female treachery, the reason for this attitude is more decisiveness and activity. They usually seek on the fact to understand the situation, to punish the guilty party.
It is worth noting that in marriage, both spouses are counting on a long mutual love, few people immediately thinks about infidelity. In any case, it is not recommended to rush, it is important to stop and take a break. To avoid the negative consequences of this situation will help the professional psychological counseling. expert tips will help overcome the difficult stage, will allow to find the strength for life.
The first steps
The news of the betrayal of a loved one is always a shock. At first it may seem that the sky fell to the earth. Make serious decisions in this situation should not be. During this period, should adhere to the following rules of conduct:
- pause - in a state of shock, any action may turn into nonsense, most solutions are not the right;
- refusal to accept hasty decisions - to stabilize the mental state will take some time, one missing three days, others settle down in just three weeks;
- the realization that the worst is over, making the right decisions requires a full recovery, any pain passes.
In the absence of opportunity to cope in the problem alone, you should contact your loved ones. After passing the first shock, you should think about further actions. Woman should decide what she wants: returning a spouse or divorce. Psychologists advise to begin any conversations with his spouse about treason only after making a final decision.
How to survive the first days
The human body is a coherent system, which in the stressful situation comes into a mobilized state. Such equilibrium allows you to survive. Any shock is accompanied by exacerbation of emotions, limit tension of the muscles. First of all, it is necessary to relax, if you wish to burst - you should do it. Elevation of emotions in such a way can be considered a symbol of mourning together for years, hopes, betrayal, mental pain.A man can also give will to tears, although many strongholds are shy of tears. Emotion output allows you to facilitate the state, which will help to avoid the first shock.
If you want to scream, it should not restrain emotions, breathing should be deep. It should be remembered that the containment of feelings leads to health problems. Cheated women are often advised with girlfriends. It is important to take into account that only the decision will be correct. Soviets of friends may not be superfluous, help to consider the situation at a different angle. In such a situation, there should always be people who will be able to support.
Tips for psychologist
It is easier to survive the situation of treason will help appeal to a psychologist, although not all do it. A professional approach will help to cope with feelings, avoid negative consequences, swallowers. The sincerity and fulfillment of all recommendations of the specialist plays an important role.
It is important to keep the diary of happiness and record all the events that have happened during the day. Reason for positive emotions can be found plenty - it can be a beautiful sunrise or sunset, rainbow, pleasant words of a stranger, communication with people. Happiness in life directly depends on the number of positive emotions.
It should be forbidden to call yourself an abandoned, poor. An important role in the formation of life is playing thinking. It is important to do something to improve your own life, improving well-being. It must be remembered that inaction, constant pity to themselves will not help. Stay in such a state can bring even more troubles.
A person must realize that, despite the great disappointment, you should find a goal for which you can live on. Qualitative improvement is possible only under the condition of constant self-improvement, achieving career growth. Successful people do not have time for crying and suffering about treason, any event is perceived as experience.
Tips of the psychologist:
- Forgiveness - it is considered the most correct solution in this situation, it is important to experience pain, make a decision and consistently follow him, a resentment may become an obstacle to creating new relationships;
- Getting rid of stress and anger - to do it easier after exercise, swimming, dance, jogging;
- The image on paper of all emotions - brushes and paints are considered an effective method of improving mental equilibrium, so you can spill your anger, offense, irritation;
- Getting rid of the feeling of guilt - some men suffer from an inferiority complex, each victory over a woman is used for self-affirmation;
- It should be remembered that both sides are responsible for treason, it is important to think about how to continue to live;
- Frank conversation - it is necessary to find out the cause of treason, the woman most often goes to such actions due to dissatisfaction, suffering, deficiency of emotions in relations, loud quarrels with beating of dishes in this case are not allowed;
- It is important to find out than the opponent or rival is better than you than he or she attract a spouse or spouse, it is important to take into account that women often go to more open men who give them care and attention;
- The perception of infidelity as a spiritual illness, a husband or wife should act as a peculiar drug from the illness (lover), it is important to surround a woman with attention, warm, stock patience.
If it is impossible to get rid of thought after treason, you should imagine life without a spouse. It is important to feel the refusal for life from joint holidays, trips, walks, evenings in front of the TV, other little things. In this case, it is necessary to compare the consequences of betrayal and from the complete absence of a loved one.
The constant repetition of the change is considered to be alert. In this situation, you should think about changing the partner. Men who often change the slightest whims of women do not know how to appreciate them, spend their life, feelings feelings. If a man who is nearby is admirable, you are planning a joint future with him, you should not respond to treason. Real love can overcome a lot.
What should not be done
After treason, it is recommended to deal with your affairs, the permanent memories of the accomplished fact will not bring anything good. Thoughts of this kind must be driven away from themselves. It is important to remember all the good, which is in life.The turning in the memory of happy joint moments with a trender is threatened with new experiences, a new pain. It is important to learn how to cope with new negative feelings that prevent the situation correctly. In no case can not be considered to be treated in the main tragedy in life.
Woman should look at the situation on the other side. It is necessary to try to imagine her husband as a stranger, acquaintance with which happened relatively recently. It is important to understand that the cooling in the relationship happened not by chance, there is no wives in it too.
When trying to make men, it should not be denied this. It is recommended to take yourself in hand, to get together, to communicate as sincerely as possible. Humiliation and insults can aggravate the situation, only impeccable behavior will help to return respect and admiration for her husband. Special caution should be observed in the presence of common children. It is categorically prohibited to find out the relationship with the child, to make it a hostage.
Conclusion
- Joint Life requires certain efforts, mental costs, emotions from spouses.
- Each individual is individual, treason happens in unions with different frequency. After the fact of the fact, it is not recommended to immediately take the spelling solutions from the breaking of relationships, divorce, it is important to take a pause.
- Treason often causes negative emotions, anger, offense that require exit. Psychologists recommend to pay and speak out in such a situation.
- All conversations with changed wife or husbands should be started after making a decision about your further collaborative or separate future.