Selfhood, according to the interpretation of the dictionary, acts excessively self-criticism, a sense of dissatisfaction with their own actions, behavior. May deliver many psychological suffering to man. How to cope with this unhealthy trend? Find out further.
Specifications of self-name
For the bulk of people, this phenomenon is perceived as a totality of mental torments regarding himself: reproes, dissatisfaction, fears, anxiety, disbelief in their forces, inability to let go of the incurred, self-evidence and challenges.Find out what awaits you today - a horoscope for today for all zodiac signs
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Psychologists decipher this concept in the next way: Samoystvo acts as negative self-analysis, which is accompanied by non-acceptance of its behavior (words, thoughts, actions).
Depending on how much a person does not like and does not accept himself, self-named can be manifested in such forms:
- In a soft form, it is a kind of "public games". In this case, there is a demonstration self-criticism, for the form that does not cause special psychological discomfort. The goal in this case is to obtain from the surrounding manifestations of pity, sympathy, consolation, as well as in avoiding punishment. Soft self-criticism resorts unsure of themselves personality, having a low sense of responsibility.
- In a rigid form - and here the desire to slip itself provokes itself is hypertrophied responsibility. Such personalities are inclined to demand a lot from themselves, therefore it's hard to criticize themselves at the not fulfillment of the conceived. In the second case, Samoyed instead of public "scenes" choose secluded self-criticism, which is carried out without witnesses.
- In neurotic form - when a person regularly criticizes himself for a very long time, such behavior is already becoming a habit for him. And even a non-essential occasion will be able to launch challenge. People who are at the specified stage are constantly exposing themselves to hard samotherror, sometimes not aware of this.
Where do your hands grow from?
Absolutely any action, even the most negative, has a depth "positive" installation, which provokes it. And it means that it is true to realize what is happening, it is necessary to learn from separating actions from intentions.
For example, when parents scold their baby for what he behaves incorrectly, the voice increases or even applied the hand, they perform negative actions. However, their intentions carry a good sense: they try to teach their child, explain to him as possible, and how can not behave.
In the case of his self-selected, its positive installation will be defense. We all know the phrase "Best Protection is an attack." So in the situation with the senses, the person also attacks, however, on himself. In fact, the children's psychological protection is activated: "I am better, I myself (herself) will impose itself before someone else does)."
For the most part, people inclined to self-named and unhealthy self-criticism are all those children who regularly suffered from attacks of their parents, teachers, grandparents and other personalities.
Such an individual from childhood is used to be that it must be fit into certain standards. He strives for his "ideality," by finding the disadvantages of a terrible thing. At the same time, it prohibits themselves to make mistakes, inclined to "poke yourself to the nose" in the slightest shortcomings.
It turns out that all the origins of the problem leave their roots in childhood. It was there that a man taught not to love himself, not to respect their body and soul, do not be able to take their mistakes and negative sides, do not forgive their mistrees.
As a result, the individual turns for itself in the worst enemy itself, since it does not allow itself to be imperfect, constantly keeps himself in some limited framework.
Effects
What is fraught with such a worldview and a worldship?
- Under the action of constant senses, there is a blocking of any positive emotion. Man all the time experiencing deep discontent with his life, he and all that is happening.
- Self-stirring steers your time, depriving sleep and peace of mind.
- A person gets used to his "helplessness," is holy convinced that he is unable to change the situation. As a result, it does not fully implement itself.
- Samoystvo deprives common, rational thinking. The man "growls" so much with his problem, which becomes fixed on it at the emotional level. Because of which it is not capable of correctly evaluating what is happening.
- Dislike and defeat themselves exactly the same reaction from other people. Indeed, will there be someone who is not able to love himself?
- Subject to permanent internal torments, self-critical personality becomes easy prey for manipulators. They will be able to "take it on the hook without much effort."
It turns out that unhealthy criticism provokes itself as a result of gradual physical, energy and psychological exhaustion. When the problem begins to acquire a frightening scale, it's time to look for her decision!
How to fix what is happening?
- Take and love yourself as you really are. Learn to accept your shortcomings, realize that you will never write to ideal standards. We are all unique from nature, then why are you insulting the Most High, scolding your own uniqueness?
- Forgive your not committing and your mistakes. Forgiveness - this is the first step towards changing the perception of yourself, respectively, and the beginning of the way to get rid of self-calledness. When you forgive yourself, thoughts and soul begin to get rid of the negative, the harmful process of terrorism is stopped.
- Learn to think in a positive context. Develop your sense of humor. Make an emphasis not on your shortcomings, but on the strengthening of advantages. Express Praise yourself more often. And as soon as they began to cheer themselves, immediately express both praise. Remember your strengths, as well as actions that cause you satisfaction.
- Understand and accept the fact that self-called is nothing but a mechanism for protecting the child. When you do it, you accept the position of the parent, trying to drive yourself into the angle. But you already have an adult identity formed, you know how to react to problems correctly, without negative installations from the past.
- Tell me for goodbye to the emotions that arise as soon as you begin to yourself and self-defense. Bad emotional experiences will be your worst enemy in solving the problem, so it is important to be able to get rid of them.
- Change the behavior model. Replace criticism for a sober analysis of the situation. It is worth understanding which of the actions were a mistake, but how to act now, if you want the situation to change.
Three questions to yourself
If you wish to leave the vicious circle of throwing, use the next simple, but very effective technique "3 questions". All that will be required of you is to ask them alternately, and then replies to write in 3 columns on a paper sheet.
What kind of questions is it?
- What did I do (did)? Sewing everything happened to you.
- What actions could be taken? In thoughts, make a picture of the desired as you could adjust this situation (with words, gestures, feelings, and so on).
- What actions do I still make tomorrow? Sewing on the paper one or several actions required to correct the current situation.
This technique will be useful, as it will extract valuable lessons from the troubles that have happened to you. Plus, you can compare the real picture of what happened with your inner reaction to it. And, most likely, it will be discovered that what happened is not such a tragedy as you painted it in your imagination.
Love yourself, take your own shortcomings and let yourself be the one who you are actually!
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