The fear is inherent in every living being, it is due to the instinct of self-preservation. If a person is not afraid of height, he can fall and crash. If a person is not afraid of poisonous animals, he can die of snake bite. However, along with the necessary fear that helps survive, there are different phobias. About them and talk.
How to overcome the fear that prevents living? My classmate's sister was afraid to respond at the board at school, it was a whole tragedy. At first, the girl was put on two, then the teachers went to meet and stopped a child's custom. Fear overcame with a children's psychologist. Now Irina is already studying at the university, writes scientific work and acts at conferences.
Types of fear
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Fear is one of the strongest human emotions that cannot be controlled. A person may be afraid of well-known things and states (death, pain, darkness, unknown) and fantastic irrational things. It depends on the features of his psyche.
At the moment, the science knows about 400 types of fears (phobias), most of which are categorized. Unfortunately, scientists never managed to understand the nature of phobias, although the best minds of humanity worked on the decision of this issue.
Fears are classified based on their causes, social significance, age-related changes, sexual preferences.
People may be afraid:
- natural phenomena;
- animals, insects;
- defined color;
- superstition and accept;
- any places or buildings;
- death and suffering.
This is not a complete list of possible phobias that can pursue a person every day. Sometimes far-figned or hypertrophied phobias can lead to a mental disorder, so they need to be released immediately.
If you do not defeat fear, he cries the life of a person.
Can fears disappear independently? It is quite possible: most people did not notice how they got rid of children's fears. Which of the adults is afraid of babay or night wolf, which will bite the barrel? A person does not notice how many different fears disappear in his life.
However, the sacred place is not empty, and others come to replace one fears:
- As a child, many were afraid of darkness, arthropods, insects, shadows. Some people have sociophobia smoothly moves from the world of childhood in adulthood.
- In adolescence, fear of death, the first sexual experience, the feelings of shame in front of peers, schools and exams appear.
- In adult age, the fear of loneliness appears, fear for children. Experiences for children are associated with hypertrophied responsibility for their health and well-being.
Many women suffer because of fear of wrinkle appearance, many men secretly suffer because of fear of loss of potency. A person will always find because of what to suffer and what to fear.
Where do fears come from
As soon as the child begins to understand something, it is immediately trying to intimidate and limit in freedom of self-expression. Talk about Babike, who takes off naughty children, and about a sulfur wolf. From the very birth of a person teach something to be afraid. Then the child begins to be afraid of teachers, bad assessments, ridicule of peers. Even product advertising is based on intimidation, otherwise a person will not buy a shampoo from dandruff and will not enrich entrepreneurs.
Psychologists say that a person is born only with two types of fears - fear of loud sounds and falls. Everything else is the creativity of the mind.
Where did these invented fears come from? They are a product of social interactions. For example, fear of being incomprehensible or rejected, ridiculous or humiliated. The society imposes templates of behavior, tastes and priorities. The man of the will of the unill must adhere to these templates in order not to become an outcast.
It turns out that all these fears come up with our mind. This is a positive moment: the mind and will help to get rid of the far-thined fears. Only to conclude an agreement with mind need correctly.
On a note! Fear attracts man exactly what he is most afraid of. This is a very productive and dangerous emotion.
Errors in the fight with fear:
- pretend that fear does not exist;
- engage in showing browse and demonstrate to those surrounding their tired fearlessness;
- run away from reality with different ways, including using alcohol;
- Shoot the responsibility on other people.
The most important thing in the fight against phobias is to admit that they exist and spoil life. If you try to suppress fear or not to notice it, it will begin to have a destructive effect on the psyche. The result of the suppression can be chronic anxiety.
Fear - productive emotion, and it can help in the transformation of the personality with proper use.
Methods of combating phobias
How to overcome fear? First, it must be denoted. To do this, write down on a sheet of paper everything that worries you or scares. No need to invent anything: just write down what comes to mind. To see the fear in the face - more than half of success, because the awareness of the problem is the way to her decision.On a note! Some psychologists advise you to burn a list with fears on fire. This technique will help to understand that fears are not eternal and may disappear. Fire burns and fear destroys.
Psychologists argue that phobias will take away from life only under one condition: they must be recognized as part of your being. Only when a person completely believes in this and takes his own fear as part of himself, he will disappear from his soul and mind. If we reject fear and disagree with its being, it will only increase.
There is nothing impossible for who firmly decided.
How to overcome fear? Here are 7 steps to overcome phobias:
- Become a third-party observer;
- Do not think about your fear;
- Feel the present moment;
- Change your attitude to life;
- Do not dwell on the negative experience of the past;
- Draw your fear with paints, give him an image;
- Be prepared for failures.
What means Be a third-party observer . This means to be removed from the situation, be out of it. No need to emotionally involve in the thick of the events, look at the problem as a viewer in the cinema looks at the film. Your film is a horror movie, but it exists like on the screen. If you can get out of the situation and evaluate it as an outsider, then you will get a response faster as you get rid of it. The answer will appear inside you.
What means Do not think about your fear . Many people begin to dwell on their fears, winding the situation and accelerating it to the speed of light. You just need to switch your attention to anything else. If it does not work, it is necessary to present the chopper and pull the handle down - the thoughts will disappear.
Felt - This is a big luxury. People are accustomed to living last or future, but not here. They are either worried about past misses, or begin to be afraid of what is not yet. These thoughts about the past and the future and generate our fears.
On a note! Man begins to worry only in thoughts about the future or about the past. In present, there is no alarm.
Remember: the human mind is not able to operate in two information at the same time. If you take the body with exercise, the alarms will pass: you either worry or do physical work and do not worry.
Seneca taught his disciples like this:
- Hope for the future gives rise to fear;
- Fear poisons a person's life, deprives him of a full-fledged life.
Whatever a person is trying to do, fear will destroy everything. Because he has a destructive energy.
As you can Change your attitude to life , events? This means completely abandon expectations. No need to expect something defined by humans, events, circumstances, actually life. Waiting turns a person in a slave and sacrifice. A person seeks to keep everything under control, but it is little when it succeeds: hence the fear can not cope. Remove the expectations - the fear will go. From people, too, can not be expected a lot, so be indulgent to someone else's misses.
Negative experience from the past can destroy the future. Do not dwell on your failures You just create a negative program for the future. If you think about something for a long time, it can be realized. And negative programs are implemented much faster than positive.
Draw your fear , depict his portrait. As soon as fear will find shape and artistic image, he will cease to be scary. And if he gives a funny nickname, it will help to find a faithful ally fear of fear.
Be ready for fail And expect her - different things. If a person expects failure, he attracts her to his life - invites. And if a person is ready for failure, it frees it from fear of failure. "Do what should and be it will be." This phrase of the Roman emperor Mark Aurelius lived to the present day, in her deep vital wisdom enclosed. No need to be afraid to be mistaken, you do not need to be afraid to lose: you will not leave fate, be afraid - do not be afraid.
Outcome
All our fears, with the exception of fear of falling and loud sounds, are the kind of one's own mind. If the mind spawned them, then the mind can destroy them. To overcome fear, you need to admit it and see him "in the face." Even better - try to portray it in the form of paints. As soon as it happens, the fear of the irrational category will turn into a real: now you can work with it and even make friends. If there is no desire to be friends, then he will just leave your life. Checked more than once.