Kwa zaka zopitilira makumi awiri ndakhala ndikugwira ntchito ya psychology ya mabanja. Kwa zaka zambiri, ndinkagwira ntchito ndi mabanja a mabanja ndipo ndimakhulupirira chimodzi - mavuto a anthu ambiri ndi ofanana kwambiri komanso amathetsedwa. Ndipo m'magulu atsopano, ndipo m'banja lalitali, mavuto azamabanja ambiri amakhala ansanje.
Kumverera kumeneku nthawi zambiri kumangowononga chikondi, chifukwa nsasa nsalu imasamalira maso, kumapangitsa ulamuliro kuti uziwongolera ndikuchita zoyipa. Nsanje imakhala chifukwa chochitira chipongwe, pomwe ubale womwe uli mgululi umakhala pa seams. Chifukwa chake, m'nkhaniyi ndidaganiza zonena za zifukwa zazikulu zopezeka kansanje ndi kufotokoza momwe angathanirane nazo.
Chinachitika ndi chiyani?
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Mutha kumva zonena zosiyanasiyana pankhani ya nsanje - ndipo sikudzuka kuyambira pachikwangwani, ndikuti ndi umboni wa chikondi. Koma kwenikweni, kumverera kumeneku sikumagwiritsidwa ntchito kwathunthu ndipo kumangopha mitsempha ya onse awiri. Chowonadi ndi chakuti ngati pali chifukwa chomvera, ndiye kuti vutoli ndi lovuta komanso lovuta, ndipo ngati palibe chifukwa, ndiye kuti mumangokhala pamalo osalala. Chifukwa chiyani nsanje?
- Nsanje ndikuopa kutaya wokondedwa. Nthawi zambiri amabwera chifukwa chosatetezeka - chimawoneka kwa inu kuti pali opikisana nawo ozungulira mnzanu amene ali wokongola kwambiri kapena wokuthandizani.
- Malingaliro a katundu ndi hyperccontli. Nthawi zambiri, anthu amachita nsanje chifukwa amafuna kuwongolera moyo wathunthu. Ndi izi ndikofunikira kumenya nkhondo ndi kugwira ntchito, chikhumbo choterechi ndichilendo.
- Nthawi yochulukirapo. Nthawi zambiri, anthu samangokhala ndi zochitika zawo zomwe amakonda komanso ndipo pamene mnzakeyo ayamba kuyesa kuchita zinthu ndi zake, amakwiya ndikuyamba kuchita nsanje.
- Zochitika Zosavomerezeka. Tonsefe timakhala ndi ubale wamtundu wina, pambali pake, tikuwona zomwe makolo athu ali nazo. Ndipo iwo amene awona munthu usanalowe nthawi zambiri amayamba kuchita nsanje, ndi owona mtima makamaka owona mtima.
Momwe mungachotsere izi?
- Zindikirani chifukwa. Mukuganiza: Kodi nsanje yanu ili ndi zolinga zanu zenizeni, kapena mwapanga?
- Osayang'ana chifukwa. Osayesa kupeza china chokayikitsa. Anthu omwe amagwira nsanje nthawi zambiri amayamba kuyesa kukwera wokondedwa pafoni, akuwoneka osakayika pa intaneti kapena kusaka. Njira zoterezi zimakhala zoipa nthawi zonse. Mumadzicheka nokha, kuchititsa manyazi ulemu wa wokondedwa wanu ndipo nthawi yomweyo, mutha kuchita china chomwe sichingamvetsetse ndikupanga chochititsa mantha. Ngati pali kukayikira, ndibwino kutsegula malo ochezera a pa Intaneti kapena foni.
- Dzitengereni zinthu zosangalatsa zomwe mumayang'ana moona mtima. Pezani zosangalatsa zomwe choonadi chidzakupatsirani, koma zosangalatsazi ziyenera kukhala zanu zokha - dzipatseni nokha kuti mupumule ndikusowa.
- Thandizani wokondedwa wanu. Chirikiza pazinthu zonse, ayi, musawayezetsa nthawi yake. Thandizo, lolimbikitsidwa - ndipo munthu akufuna kukuwuzani zambiri, ndipo udzakhala wodekha.
- Pezani anzanu. Inde inde! Limodzi mwa zolakwitsa pafupipafupi ndi bambo kapena mkazi wosagwirizana ndi otchulidwa ndi abwenzi a wokondedwa, amayamba mkangano, zimadzetsa zosokoneza kapena ngakhale kulumikizana kuyankhulana. Sizokayikitsa kuti idzagwira ntchito - posachedwa kapena pambuyo pake munthu kapena akana kukwaniritsa zomwe mwapempha, kapena amayamba kulankhulana ndi kampaniyo ndi kutembeza. Ndipo ngati anzanu amakukondani, ndiye kuti mudzayenda limodzi, ndipo m'malo mwa zoyipa zomwe mumaphunzira nthawi yomweyo.
- Nenani moona mtima za zomwe mwakumana nazo, popanda kunyowetsa ndikumenya. Ngati mikanganoyo chifukwa cha nsanje sizinasinthe kukhala zotsika kwambiri, ndiye yesani kungolankhula. Tiuzeni modekha kuti muli ndi nkhawa bwanji - mwina wokondedwa, zimakhala zotchinga, ndipo zimakana chifukwa chosasangalatsa. Lamulo lalikulu munthawi ino ndikulankhula modekha ndipo osalakwa. M'malo mwake, lembani zonse: "Pepani, ndimachita nsanje, ndikumvetsetsa kuti ndiopusa, koma ndimakhala wamisala, ndithandizeni kuti ndisiye kukhudzika." Panjira yofewa, timakhala okondwa kwambiri.
Ndipo ngati pali chifukwa?
Ngati pali chifukwa chochitira nsanje yanu, ndiye kuti, mumasintha, mabodza, okongoletsedwa ndi ena, ndipo muli ndi umboni wosasinthika, ndiye kuti ndizosatheka kunena za kusiya nsanje. Nthawi yomweyo, popanda kundinong'oneza bondo, ng'anani ubale woterowo - monga momwe angapezere mwayi wopitilira.Nthawi yomweyo pewani munthu wanu, amatha kuchita mantha kwambiri. Kufunika kwanu kumawonjezeka kwambiri, kumayamba kuphonya ndikudandaula kutokha. Ngati anali ndi malingaliro ena asanatero, mnzanuyo azichita chilichonse kuti abweze chikondi chanu ndi kudaliridwa.
Tiyeni tiwone mwachidule
- Nsanje ndi imodzi mwazovuta zotchuka muubwenzi. Zimakhudza onse maanjawa kuti agwirizane ndi iwo omwe akhala palimodzi kwa zaka zambiri.
- Nsanje imachitika pazifukwa zosiyanasiyana, ndipo nthawi zambiri palibe chifukwa chake. Kuti muthetse kumverera kumeneku, muyenera kumvetsetsa bwino komwe zikuchitika.
- Ngati chifukwa chochitira nsanje ndi mnzawo ameneyo ndi chowonadi chikuyang'ana kumbali, sizikumveka kulimbana ndi izi, nthawi yomweyo tiyenera kusintha ubalewo.
- Ngati palibe zifukwa zomveka zopangira nsanje, muyenera kuyesa kusiya nsanje. Dzitengereni zinthu zosangalatsa komanso kulankhula moona mtima za momwe mukumvera.
- Osaletsa chilichonse okondedwa ndipo musalolere malire. Bwino mosiyana ndi izi - Chidwi ndi cholinga chake, yesani kumanga ubale wabwino ndi abwenzi ake. Chifukwa chake mudzitonthole nokha ndipo mukatsimikiziranso wokondedwa wanu - simungakutaye.