Umugabo ntashaka abana - birashoboka kumwumvisha

Gutegura abana nintambwe ikomeye ugomba kwegera n'inshingano ikomeye. Abagore kuriyi basunika instrict yububyeyi, ariko ibintu byose biragoye cyane nabagabo. Barasa bitandukanye muburyo butandukanye, kandi kuri benshi muribo, isura y'urubyaro ntabwo ari intego nyamukuru yumubano. Akenshi, abagore bahura numugabo badashaka abana, kandi ntibazi icyo kubikoraho. Umuntu yagiye mu mayeri, kandi atwite afite uburiganya, kandi umuntu ahitamo gutatanya. Uburyo bwo gukora mubihe nkibi, kandi niba bishoboka kumvisha umugabo we - nzakubwira muriyi ngingo.

Ubwoba bw'abagabo no gushidikanya

Kubwamahirwe, ibintu ntabwo ari gake biboneka mugihe umugore arota umwana uri muri couple, kandi umuntu ntasangiye icyifuzo. Atekereza ko igihe kigeze, azahindura imitekerereze ye, ariko ibi ntibibaho. Iyo kwihangana kubisubizo, abagore barashobora kujya kumyanzuro ikabije, kurugero, gushyira ultimatum cyangwa kujya ku mayeri kugirango bagere kubyo bifuza. Ibyo ntaho bikwiye gukora mubintu byose.

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Gukemura iki kibazo, mbere ya byose, ugomba kuvugana numugabo, ukamubaza impamvu adashaka gutangiza umwana. Birashoboka ko afite ubwoba no gushidikanya aho yatindiganye kuvuga. Ariko kugirango umugabo asangire ibitekerezo bye, ntabwo ari ngombwa kubishyira igitutu - tangira ikiganiro "kure ya kure," abaza ibibazo byambere.

Kudashaka gutangira abana birashobora gusobanurwa nimpamvu zikurikira:

• Gutinya impinduka zabaringa. Kugaragara k'umuryango mushya guhindura ubuzima. Impungenge nshya zigaragara, imirimo n'ibikenewe, kandi urashobora kwibagirwa byoroshye ibinezeza. Aho kuba umugore mwiza, witeguye neza hafi yinzu azaruhana na nyirasenge, kandi ikirere gituje, cyiza cyuzuyemo gutaka k'umwana.
• Ubwoba bwo gutakaza ibitekerezo byumugore wanjye. Hamwe n'ivuka ry'umwana, umugore agaragara impungenge nyinshi, arambiwe byinshi, kandi nta mwanya afite ku mugabo we.
• Gutinya ko umugore azagabanukira. Mama afite umwanya wo kwitabwaho neza, kuvura ubwiza no gusura Salon. Umugabo atinya ko umugore we azabura ubwiza kandi ntazongera kumukurura nka mbere.
• Umutekano muke mubintu. Hamwe no kwita ku mwana, amafaranga y'imari aragenda yiyongera, kandi amafaranga yinjiza aragabanuka, kuko umugore ahagarika gukora. Abagabo benshi bemeza ko umwana ashobora gutangira ari uko hari amazu yabo kandi ahagije yinjiza. Bitabaye ibyo, umutwaro wamafaranga uzaba munini cyane, kandi umugabo atinya kutabyihanganira.
• Kudashaka kwigarukira. Umugabo utagira umwana afite umwanya munini kubyimyidagaduro no kwishimisha. Bashobora kujya gutembera igihe icyo aricyo cyose, muri cinema, guhaha, nibindi. Hamwe no kuza ku mwana, ubwisanzure bwumugore bugarukira cyane kandi, mubisanzwe, bizababazwa mugihe umugabo ahisemo kujyana ninshuti, aho kuguma hamwe murugo. Ibirego bihoraho kuri ibi bizaganisha ku kiruhuko mubucuti.
• Kumenya nabi. Kureba abana basanzwe bafite abana, abagabo bagerageza mumutwe ku ruhare rwababyeyi. Babona uburyo inshuti zabo zinaniwe, zikunze kuvuga ibibazo byumuryango ningorane zihoraho, kandi ibi byose byakubise icyifuzo cyo gutangiza umwana wabo. Igishimishije, bakunze gusahura ibintu bibi, kandi ntibazirikane uruhande rwiza rwo kubaho kw'abana mumuryango.
• Kumva ko ashaka gukoresha gusa. Iyo umugore ahora avuga kubyerekeye icyifuzo cyo kubyara umwana, umugabo atangira gutekereza, kandi niba amukunda mubyukuri, cyangwa arakenewe gusa. Umugore ufite ubuvuzi butuma umugabo we yumva adakunzwe kandi akoreshwa.
• Kuboneka kubibazo byubuzima. Abagabo ntibakunda kuvuga kubibazo byabo, cyane cyane niba bireba ubuzima. Gutangira umubano, birashobora gusobanura ko badashobora kubyara cyangwa bafite indwara zarazwe.

Impamvu za psychologiya

Umugabo numugabo biragoye cyane guhitamo kubyara, na kamere. Abagore kuri iyi ntambwe basunika inshinge ya ba sogokuruza, mugihe abagabo begereye iki kibazo neza kandi pragmatic. Kenshi na kenshi, barashaka kubanza gushyirwa mubikorwa kandi bakaba ku birenge kugirango batange umuryango wabo, ariko rimwe na rimwe impamvu zo kwanga kwanga abana ziri muburyo bwimitekerereze. Nk'uko byatangajwe na psychologue, hari impamvu nyinshi zikomeye umugabo adashaka umwana, ndetse na we ubwe ntashobora kubimenya.

1. Kubura indangagaciro z'umuryango. Niba mu bwana umuhungu atagize gusobanukirwa ko umuryango utagira abana atari ukubahwa byuzuye, noneho ukuze ntazaharanira kubyara. Byongeye kandi, umugabo ashobora kwitegereza imyifatire mibi kuri we, cyangwa kubana muri rusange, kubabyeyi. Kubera iyo mpamvu, ukwemera kugaragara mubyiciro, ko abana ari babi.
2. Igoye. Niba mu bwana umugabo yagombaga kurokoka ingorane nyinshi, kurugero, amakimbirane ahoraho yinzu, kutumvikana, kubura amafaranga, nibindi, noneho muburyo bwiziritseho amashyirahamwe mabi muri iki gihe. Birasa nkaho umwana we azagira ibyago bimwe.
3. Kudashaka gufata inshingano. Abanga bafite uruhare mu bagabo benshi. Ntakibazo bafite imyaka yabo nyabo, bashaka kugumana abana bakeneye kwitabwaho kandi bakabitaho. Kugaragara k'umwana mu muryango bivuze ko agomba gufata inshingano kubandi, aho gukomeza kubaho uko ashaka.
4. Egoism. Icyifuzo cyo kwibeshaho kidafite ubuvuzi ninshingano nimpamvu ikunze gutererana abana. Umugabo asa nkaho atarahagera, kandi ntabwo yari azi igikandwa cyose cyubuzima, kandi hamwe no kuza k'umwana ntibishoboka.

Umugabo azabona impamvu nyinshi zo kumenya abana niba atabiteguye. Urashobora kugera kuri ukuri kubwukuri muburyo bumwe - kugirango ubigereho mubiganiro. Ariko birakenewe kubikora neza, bitabaye ibyo ibintu byose birashobora kurangiza amahano.

Byagenda bite se niba umugabo adashaka abana?

Ikintu cya mbere umugore agomba gukora ari ukuvugana numugabo we. Birakenewe kutagaragaza impamvu adashaka gutangiza umwana. Ukurikije ibisubizo bye, birashoboka kumva ukuntu icyemezo cye aricyo gipimo cye, kandi birashoboka kubihindura. Ni ngombwa mu biganiro bitagushinja uwo mwashakanye no kutabishyira igitutu, bitabaye ibyo, ushobora guteza igitero cy'akagama, kandi ikiganiro cyo gutangiza kigomba gusubika igihe kirekire. Ugomba kandi gutega amatwi witonze umuntu wawe witonze, kandi uhemva ko wumva umwanya we, kandi ntucire urubanza.

Abahanga mu by'imitekerereze basaba gukora bakurikije amabwiriza akurikira:

1. Kubera ko kubyara umwana bifitanye isano no kubuzwa, mbere na mbere, birakenewe gusobanura ko ubuzima bwe budahindutse, kandi ntagomba gushyira umusaraba mu byifuzo bye n'ibyifuzo bye. Icyo ukeneye gukora nugutegura ubuzima neza kandi ugabanye inshingano.
2. Tanga umugabo wawe ko isura yumunyamuryango mushya mumuryango ntabwo ari impungenge gusa, kandi umunezero. Turashobora kuvuga ko umwana azatuma umuryango wawe wuzuye kandi rwose wishimye.
3. Witondere gukundwa mubyukuri ko ibibazo byamazu, umwuga nibindi bisubizo bikemurwa, kandi uzakemura imbaraga zabo.
4. Mubwire ko isura yumwana izamuha ubukana nubugabo. Amaze kuba se, azumva akuze, ashinzwe kandi afite akamaro.
5. Niba umugabo atinya ko umugore we atakaza ubwiza kandi agatangiza, agomba kumwibutsa ko bishobora kubaho kandi ntabishaka.
6. Kwitegura kubyara bigomba kurangira kandi ntibigeze. Niba muriki gihe umugabo atiteguye kubiganiraho, gusubika ikiganiro igihe gito. Niba avuga ko we ubwe azazamura iyi ngingo igihe azaba yiteguye, noneho ni ngombwa ko wubaha icyemezo cye no kudashyira.
7. Iyo kwanze abana biterwa nuko imitekerereze ya psychologiya, ugomba kuvugana na psychotherapiste. Amasomo ahuriweho azafasha gutsinda ubwoba no kugera kubwumvikane.

Mu muryango uhuza, wishimye w'abashakanye icyarimwe, icyifuzo cyo kubyara. Niba hari ibyo mutumvikanaho, kandi umugabo atarakurwa ku ntambwe nkiyi, noneho umugore agomba kwihangana nubwenge. Niba umukunzi mugihe kirekire bidahindura icyemezo cye, kandi nta mpaka no kujijuka kuri byo bidakora, birashoboka ko bikaba byasuzumwe umubano na we.

Ibisubizo

• Niba umugabo adashaka umwana, ugomba kubanza kumenya impamvu zo kunanirwa.
• Ntibishoboka guhatira umugabo we guhindura ibitekerezo byayo, ndetse birenze kugirango ushire ultimatum.
• Ku mugabo, kuvuka k'umwana ni intambwe ishinzwe, kuko yumva ko azakenera guha umuryango.
• Gusa bitewe no gutumanaho guhoraho, urashobora guhungabanya ubwoba bwabakundwa bijyanye no kuvuka mumuryango mushya.