Kwigirira icyizere ni ibintu byimiterere, bishingiye ku isuzuma ryiza n'umuntu w'ubushobozi bwe n'ubuhanga, bihagije kugirango ugere ku ntego z'ingenzi, ukeneye. Muri icyo gihe, kwigirira ikizere ibikorwa bimwe na we, bityo ikibazo nk'iki kivuka, nk'umutekano muke (ni ukuvuga, kugaragariza kwihesha agaciro).
Nubwo hashobora kubaho ibindi bikabije - kwigirira icyizere, gutera imbere inyuma yigihe gito cyane. Ntabwo dukora ku kintu cya nyuma, ariko tuzibanda ku kibazo cya mbere, gerageza kumenya uburyo bwo kunguka.
Umutekano ni uwuhe?
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Kwikeka - Iyi ni umutungo bwite wubuntu bwayo nubushobozi bwayo. Ajyana no ku kindi gitekerezo gisa kizwi nk'ikigo cyo hasi. Abantu badafite umutekano bemeza ko ari bibi kuruta uko bimeze, bikaba bigira ingaruka mbi cyane imivurungano yabo hamwe na intsinzi, imibereho.
Impamvu Zidashidikanywaho
KUKI abantu bamwe bafite kwihesha agaciro bisanzwe, ntabwo ari byinshi kandi bagahangayikishwa nibyo kandi bizabatekerezaho, nabandi, ntibitinya gukora urugendo rukabije, gusa kutaba intangarugero, undi muntu Kunegura? Byose bijyanye nibitekerezo byacu kuri bo. Umva itandukaniro kuva "intego" (ibyo, ntibigenga kubuzima bwawe, gusuzuma, imyumvire)?
Ni ukuvuga, mubyukuri, natwe ubwacu duhitamo, ni uwuhe mwanya ugomba gufata - umuntu wizeye, utuje cyangwa udafite umutekano, ufite ubwoba kandi ushingiye kubitekerezo byabandi. Kandi mu buryo bungutse niba ufashe abantu babiri, ariko umwe ufite icyubahiro gihagije, ikindi gifite imwe yaciwe, noneho icya kabiri ntikizaba kibi kuruta iyambere (kandi ikintu gishobora kurenga).
Mu buzima, yitwara neza, atinya cyane kugirango agaragaze igitekerezo cye, gusaba ibyifuzo byabandi bantu, birwaye ibigo bitandukanye kandi ubwoba. Kandi we ubwe ashidikanya kubushobozi bwe nubushobozi bwe kuruta gukora ubwoko runaka bwimyitwarire - gutsindwa.
Kandi, nkuko mubizi, abandi bantu badufitanye kuri twe gusa nkuko tubishyira mubikorwa. Kurugero, niba utazi kuvuga "oya" ku nshuti idahwitse kandi wemera kujya gutembera hamwe na we, igihe ubwabo bo baguye ku munaniro, none iyi ni iyanyu kandi inshingano zawe gusa. Nyuma ya byose, urashobora guhora ugena imipaka yawe ukavuga cyane "oya", ariko abantu batazi neza ntibabuza kwihesha agaciro. Bituruka he?
Muri psychologiya Hariho ibisobanuro byinshi byimpamvu ziterambere ryumutekano muke. Igitekerezo cyoroshye cyane ni icy'umuhembe wa thenadian wigihe cyacu Albert Bambur . Mu rwego rwo kwigisha rero "mu kwigisha imibereho" havugwa ko ubuhanga bwo kwigirira icyizere, butaziguye cyangwa bukaze butera imbere kubera gukoporora umwana icyitegererezo cy'imyitwarire y'ibidukikije bya hafi.
Mu ntangiriro, iyi niyo myitwarire y'ababyeyi, abavandimwe / bashiki bacu, abandi bavandimwe, noneho inshuti. Bandura yaje gufata umwanzuro ko gushidikanya ubwabyo ari ibisubizo byo guhuza moderi yiganjemo ibidukikije. Ikindi cyemezo cyuko imizi yibibazo byose bya psychologiya iri mubana!
Ariko subira mu gitekerezo cya kabiri - Birazwi nk "Yize atishoboye" kandi ni aya mu mitekerereze muri Amerika Martina Seligman . Martin yatangaje ko inzira yo gushiraho imico yumwana igira ingaruka muburyo bwimyitwarire yibidukikije, ahubwo no ku kuntu ababyeyi n'abandi babyeyi bakiriye kumyitwarire itandukanye yumwana.
Kubera ibitekerezo nkibi, umwana ahuza imyumvire itandukanye yimyitwarire mbonezamubano hamwe nuburyo butandukanye bwibidukikije. Kandi bitewe nimiterere yiki, irakura neza, nziza, cyangwa iterambere ryayo rirahungabana. Hanyuma ahari ahari kugaragara kwa "utizeye".
Abatishoboye ni leta igaragara mubihe tudashobora kugira ingaruka kubyabaye hanze, guhinduka cyangwa kubirinda. Mu bana, iratera imbere haba mugihe batabonye isuzuma ryibikorwa byabo (urugero, mu kigo cy'imfubyi, aho abarezi badashobora kwita ku bantu bose), cyangwa hamwe n'isuzuma ridahwitse (iyo ibyo bitakoze a Umwana, azakomeza kunegura, ntiyakomeza kunenga, nta nkunga yabakunzi).
Ikintu cyingenzi mugushinga kwihesha agaciro k'umwana - kuboneka bidasubirwaho, gukunda ababyeyi be no kwakira inkunga yaho. Mubicuza cyane, ibi nibyo rwose bikatirwa abana benshi. Kandi kuki, mubyukuri, urukundo rwababyeyi ari ngombwa?
Ikintu nuko umwana muto adafite kirengera, ntashobora kubaho yigenga adafite ababyeyi. Niba atakiriye urukundo rwabo, noneho ibi kurwego rwibimenyetso byerekana ko bitesha umutwe ubuzima bwe - kubwibyo, ntabwo bumva bafite umutekano. Mugihe kimwe, birashobora kugaburirwa neza no kwambara, mugihe icyarimwe uhatira kwihesha agaciro. Nkibisubizo byo kwangwa "nabi" duhereye ku babyeyi b'igikorwa, kubura inkunga n'urukundo rutagira icyo rushingiraho - umwana aravuga igitekerezo kirambye ubwawe ko atari byiza bihagije.
Ibimenyetso byumuntu udashidikanywaho
Kugirango umenye umuntu wese utumva kwigirira icyizere atari yoroshye: bimuha unsor kwitwara, kuganira, reba, foto, ibimenyetso. Abantu badashidikanywaho mubisanzwe bitwara bikomeye muri societe, bibwe mu ngendo, amabuye, ubwoba bwo kureba amaso yumugabo, bavuga bucece.
Haba kwihutira ku rundi ruhande - batangira umupira w'amaguru ntaza, bafite ubwoba ku ntebe kandi bahora bahurira. Muri ibi, itandukaniro ryabo kubantu bigirira bizere byukuri - aba nyuma bahora bitwara neza kandi bikabije, ntibakomeretsa ahantu hose.
Ni iki kindi Ibimenyetso byerekana gushidikanya?
- Gutinya amakosa, kunanirwa;
- Kwiheba mu biteganijwe;
- Ubuhanga bw'imyitwarire muri sosiyete;
- ingorane zitumanaho (cyane cyane nabantu batamenyereye);
- Passivity mugihe ufata ibyemezo;
- Kwishingikiriza ku bitekerezo by'abandi bantu;
- Icyifuzo cyo guhindura inshingano.
Niba ubonye ibimenyetso byashyizwe ku rutonde mu muntu wawe cyangwa ufunga, hanyuma utangire gukora wenyine vuba bishoboka - wiyandikishe kugirango wakire umuhanga mu bya preychologue. N'ubundi kandi, mu myaka yashize bizaba bigoye kubikora.
Ni ikihe cyizere muri wowe kandi kirimo gute?
Kwigirira icyizere - bisobanura kwizera icyo uhanganye bihagije nibihe byihariye. Ishingiye ku bumenyi ufite ubumenyi buhagije bwo gukora neza umwe cyangwa ikindi gikorwa. Byongeye kandi, imirimo irashobora kuba itandukanye cyane: Gukemura umunyamahanga kumuhanda no kurangiza ubumenyi bwumwuga (ubushobozi bwo gukora raporo nziza yumwaka).Nigute kumva kwizera kutagabanuka?
- Icyizere ntabwo ari umurage, ahubwo ni ubuziranenge. Abana bose kuva kubyara barashobora kwigirira icyizere muri bo, kandi uruganda rukomeye ruvuka kubera uburere butari bwo.
- Icyizere ntabwo ari umutungo urambye. Irashobora guhinduka, haba mu cyerekezo cyo kunoza no kwangirika, bitewe nibyabaye kubantu.
- Hariho urwego rutandukanye rwicyizere cyo gukora ibikorwa bitandukanye. Dufate ko umuntu yizeye ayoboye imodoka, ariko amujugunya mu ihindagurika atekereza ku magambo rusange.
- Icyizere ntabwo gishingiye kubintu byo hanze - kuba hari amafaranga menshi, kurugero.
Nigute ushobora kugira ikizere?
Amakuru meza nuko umuntu wese utazwi arashobora kwigirira icyizere niba yometse kuriyi mbaraga. Niki mubyukuri? Icya mbere kandi gikomeye aho gutangirira - ni Hagarika ukurikije ibitekerezo byabandi Amahirwe N'ubundi kandi, imizi y'ibidashidirizwaho ni ukuri ko utazi ubushobozi bwawe nyabwo, amahirwe n'impano, ariko bishingiye kuri uru rubanza kubitekerezo byabandi.
Ariko nyuma ya byose, burigihe ntibishoboka gushimisha undi! Abantu bose bafite imyumvire yabo, sisitemu yabo yimiterere yubuzima nibikorwa, ntabwo itegekwa guhuza nibyawe. Iyo Gutandukana bibaye, umuntu utazwi ahabwa isuzuma ribi kuri We no aho kuyandika, arabyemera. Kubera iyo mpamvu, ntaba agishoboye gutekereza yigenga, ntabwo yishima wenyine, ibikorwa byayo byayo, ariko yizera ko yabwiwe nabandi bantu (ntabwo buri gihe mubitekerezo byiza).
Ubutaha nakuzanye inama 10 z'umuhemyi uzafasha kwigirira icyizere.
Inama 1: Hagarika gutukana no guta agaciro
Ingeso zikunze kugaragara kubantu batazi neza - ntiboboga, akenshi bakoresha amagambo adahinja, muribo "ibicucu", "umuswa", "umuswa" biracyari byoroheje. Umuzimu kuri nonaha!
Ahubwo, tangira ishimwe ubwawe kuri trifle iyo ari yo yose: Nahagurutse ku gihe - urangije neza, neza; Bahatiye kuzamuka mu rugo atari kuri lift, ariko banyura mu ngazi - umunyabwenge, bazanye ubuzima bwiza kandi bunini ndetse.
Inama 2: Kuraho icyaha nisoni
Ntabwo batuzanira rwose akamaro, gusa mubusa bimara imbaraga zikomeye. Noneho rero, ureke gutekereza ko ukeneye gukora ukundi, wakoze ibibi, nkuko bisanzwe. Umva ko mubuzima akenshi ari ngombwa kuruta uko uburambe bwungutse, tutitaye ko ari byiza cyangwa bibi. Byongeye kandi, amakosa ningirakamaro kuri twe, kuko kubashimira, twumva uburyo bidashoboka gukora, ikintu cyingenzi ni ugukora imyanzuro yizerwa.Inama 3: Kwisuzuma bihagije
Niba uzi neza, ntukabyemere ibyiza byawe gusa, ahubwo unabibi, noneho undi muntu nta mahirwe yo kwiyuhagira.
Dufate ko ukora ibintu byose mubuzima buhoro, nkuko wihuta kandi ukore kumuvuduko wihuse utamereye. Ariko wemeye gutinda kwawe, nkikintu kiranga kandi ntubone ikintu kibi muri cyo. Noneho nturakara rwose niba umuntu aguhamagaye "inyenzi", nanone usetsa kuriyi ngingo. Nta muntu wahagaritse kwikuramo.
Inama 4: Shyira mu bikorwa intego zawe n'ibyifuzo byawe gusa, kandi ntibishyirwaho n'umuntu
Ikibazo gisanzwe cyane - umwana nyuma yishuri arashaka kujya kwiga aho roho ye iyobora, kurugero, ku nkuru, ariko ababyeyi batangira kwigaragambya, ariko ababyeyi batangira kwigaragambya, ariko ko ababyeyi batangira kwigaragambya, "" Ntabwo nzabona umwuga, ". Kandi rero. Kandi, utanga kwemeza, umwana arashobora no kujya mu ishami ritandukanye rwose, ashyigikira mama na papa. Ariko azakwishimira ibi?Iyo umuntu yishora mu "" ubucuruzi bwe, amaso ye yaka, akora amaboko, kandi yumva ashimishijwe cyane. Ubu ni imiterere nini, kwigirira icyizere n'ibyishimo byubuhanga bwawe, ibyagezweho. Noneho, burigihe usesengure intego ikurikira, yaba iyanyu cyangwa ishyirwaho hanze, societe?
Inama 5: Koresha Icyemezo Cyiza
Amagambo yacu afite imbaraga nyinshi, amaze igihe kinini amenyekana nabahanga. Bakoze ubushakashatsi igihe babwiraga tank ebyiri n'amazi kubyiza, no kumagambo ya kabiri. Imiterere y'amazi mu rubanza rwa kabiri yarahindutse - yabaye idakwiriye gukoreshwa.
Tekereza ukuntu dushobora kugira ingaruka ku kwigirira icyizere. Tangira buri munsi kugirango menyere imyanzuro myiza nka: "Ndi umuntu wizeye,"
Inama 6: Tekereza kubidasobanutse byibyabaye
Kurugero, uratekereza ko watsinzwe kubera kunanirwa kwipimisha muri kaminuza. Nibyo, ubanze urebye, ibintu bisa neza. Ariko tekereza kubyo - kuko buri kibazo gihisha amahirwe mashya, aricyo cyingenzi kubona no kwigunga ibyiza.Birashoboka ko kwiga muri iyi kaminuza ntukeneye rwose, kandi isanzure rero ryohereje ikimenyetso cyo kwambara. Kandi aho kwiheba, tekereza niba atari byiza kujya mumasomo amwe, kugirango ubone ikindi cyitegererezo, ninde ubizi, ushobora kugeraho uzagera ku ntsinzi no kwiyakira?
Inama 7: Ntukemere kunegura
Ntamuntu ufite uburenganzira bwo gusuzugura icyubahiro cyawe no guhungabanya kwizera wenyine - byaba inshuti cyangwa umuvandimwe. Niba ibi bibaye, noneho uhagarike kuvugana nabantu bafite uburozi. Ishimire kubantu bakwemera kandi bazahora bashyigikiye mugihe kitoroshye.
Inama 8: Reba umubiri wawe
Umuntu unaniwe uryama amasaha abiri kumunsi, priori ntashobora kumva amerewe neza kandi yizeye. Afite amatora yo kubura ubu buzima! Reka rero umubiri wawe usinzire bihagije, ibiryo kandi ntuzibagirwe kwiyitaho: mugihe cyo gukaraba umutwe, witonze witonze, witondere cosmetologio, jya kuri siporo nibindi. N'ubundi kandi, ibi bigaragarira no gukunda wenyine. Aribyo ni urufunguzo rwo kwihesha agaciro.Inama 9: Sobanukirwa ko rimwe na rimwe wumva udashidikanywaho - bisanzwe rwose
Niba wowe, kurugero, ntuzigere utwara imodoka, ntabwo wagiye kumujyi munini, nibisanzwe ko ubanza wumva umunezero ndetse no gutinya. Ingingo hano irahari kubura uburambe, nkibyo.
Ariko nyuma ya byose, bizatwara imyaka myinshi kandi ntuzongera kubitekerezaho. Ikintu gishya, kitaramenyerewe gitera umutekano muke, ariko nibisanzwe rwose, mubisanzwe kandi ntibigomba kuba impamvu yo guhagarika umutima. Ariko, ijambo ryibanze hano ni "rimwe na rimwe" hano, kandi ntabwo "buri gihe".
Inama 10: Kwagura imipaka!
Vuga n'abantu batandukanye, basangira nabo imbaraga nuburambe, menya uko bifitanye isano nibihe cyangwa ibindi. Soma ibitabo byubwenge, reba amashusho yuburezi, nka phsiololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololow yumvikana, muribo uzigama amakuru menshi azakugirira akamaro. Teza imbere isi yawe y'imbere, inyungu zawe n'indangagaciro zawe, ubutunzi bw'imbere buzaba muri wewe, amahirwe make azaguma adashidikanya.
Niba kandi ntakintu gifasha, umutekano muke ntabwo wihutira kugusiga - byumvikana gukora gahunda hamwe numunywamyi mwiza wa psychologue cyangwa psychotherapiste kandi akorana nawe.