Nigute warokoka ubutane numugabo we: inama za psychologue

Gutandukana numuntu uhenze ahora aribabaje, cyane cyane iyo uyu mugabo yabaye umwanzi. Nigute warokoka ubutane numugabo we kugirango tutitegereze umutima numubabaro wumubiri? Igomba kwibukwa ko iherezo ryubuzima bumwe ryanze bikunze rifungura ibyiringiro byundi mushya. Ntigomba gushyirwaho mbere yuburyo bubi: Nzaguma irungu, simbona umuntu ubereye, ntabwo nizera undi muntu.

Ukuri imwe yoroshye igomba kugerwaho: ubuzima bwo gutandukana numugabo we ntibirangira. Kandi ibi bivuze ko ukeneye kumwenyura kumunsi mushya hamwe nubuzima bushya. Nguko uko mushiki wanjye yari yarakoze, igihe umugabo we yahisemo gushimisha undi mugore. Nta kwiheba no gutukwa ku ruhande rwayo: ubuzima bushya bwatangiye.

Nigute watangira ubuzima bushya

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Nigute ushobora gutangira ubuzima udafite umugabo wahoze? Mubyukuri, ibintu byose ntabwo bigoye cyane, kuko bisa nkibitekerezo byababaje nigihe cyumugore. Ukeneye gusa gutangirira hamwe nigibabi cyera, ufite ibyiringiro no kwizera ureba ejo hazaza. Niba fate ifunze urugi rumwe, noneho izafungura ikindi: ibisohoka ntabwo biva mu isanduku gusa. Kubwimpamvu runaka, abagore benshi barabyibagirwa kandi batekereza ko gutandukana kwabo kw'ibyago 14.

Plus gutandukana:

• Ntugomba gukenera kumenya umubano kumabara meza;
• Ntugomba gukenera gutinya ubwoko bwose bwo gutukwa no gusenga kuruhande rwe;
• Ibitekerezo byawe ntibigirangaza umuntu udashimishije;
• Uzashobora gutanga umwanya wenyine nkuko ubishaka;
• Ntibikenewe guhagarara amasaha kuri plab hanyuma uteke ibiryo byinshi;
• Izindi nyungu, zikuyobora gusa.

Kubona mubihe byose prusi - iyi ni ambulance mu rugamba rugoye aho hantu munsi yizuba . Niba wiga kungukirwa nikibazo icyo aricyo cyose, bizaba byoroshye kubaho. Wasize umugabo? Kumwenyura no kwishimira ibisigaye. Ntabwo kwigunga guhanga, ariko ushima amahoro no kuruhuka.

Ku nyandiko! Biragoye kubabara igihombo gusa bwambere (ukwezi, bibiri cyangwa bitatu), noneho kwitabwaho kugirango ukurure ibintu bishya ninyungu nshya. Ahari umuntu tumenyanye numuntu ushimishije.

Nibyo, gutandukana ni ugusenyuka kwa gahunda z'ejo hazaza. Ariko ibi bireba umugabo ufatanye nuwahoze ari umugabo, ariko ntabwo ari ayawe. Kubwibyo, bigomba gutegurwa gutegura ejo hazaza heza hatazabaho umwanya wahoze ari umugabo. Mubyukuri, iki nikintu gishimishije guhanga niba ubitanze rwose. Ntugahungabanye ubugingo bwawe wibuka ibyahise: ugomba gusa kureba ejo hazaza ugahura numwenyura. Abagore benshi bahukanye bashimiye iherezo ryo gutandukana numugabo we, kuva nyuma yigihe gito bari bafite ubuzima bushya, bushimishije.

Psychologiya yumugore watanye

Abagore benshi bafite ibyiyumvo bimwe muriki gihe kitababarirwa mubuzima. Benshi barashaka ubufasha n'inama z'uburyo bwo kurokoka ubutane hamwe n'umugabo we, kuba psychologiste babigize umwuga. Kandi iki nicyemezo gikwiye.

Abahanga mu by'inararibonye batandukanya ibyiciro 5 byo guhuza imitekerereze mu gutandukana:

1. reaction yo kwirwanaho;
2. imiterere y'inzika;
3. kumva icyaha cyawe;
4. imiterere yo kwiheba;
5. Gutakaza amarangamutima.

Imitekerereze yumuntu muzima mubyukuri ihuza nibihe bishya, nubwo igihe ntarengwa kandi amarangamutima yo guhuza n'imihindagurikire. Bizaterwa na kamere nubumuntu bwumuntu. Umuntu areba uburangare ureba isi, umuntu akoreshwa mugushushanya ibyabaye.

Imyitwarire yo kwirwanaho

Uyu mutungo washyizwe muri pschere yumuntu, ni sehuka. Ubwonko bugomba kumenyera guhinduka, kubwibyo bwa mbere biri muburyo bwo gusohoka. Rimwe na rimwe, uhereye ku ruhande, reaction nk'iyi irasa no kutita ku bintu bibi, ariko ni igitekerezo cyo hanze. Imbere, umugore arimo guhura nibura gusenyuka kwisi yose, kubera ko gahunda zose z'ejo hazaza zasenyutse icyarimwe. Ibi birashobora kugereranywa numutingito no gusenya urugo rwawe.

Mu gihe gito, umugore azaba muri stuveder kandi ntazashobora gutandukana nkukuri kwizerwa. Ibi birasobanura kugerageza kongera gukoresha inzira yo gushyingirwa kubagore benshi kugirango tutigeze numva kumugaragaro. Ubu ni ububabare bukomeye bwo mumutwe buvuga gusa umugore watanye wenyine ashobora kumva.

Kuki umugore agerageza guhakana ukuri kugaragara no guca umubano? Abahanga mu by'inararibonye bavuga ko akora kuri psyche nka anesthetic. Ubwa mbere, ububabare bwigihombo bugaragazwa cyane nuko bidakenewe ko nta biyobyabwenge. Abagore bamwe bizeye rwihishwa ko umugabo azaza azamuka agagaruka . Icyiciro cya mbere cyo guhuza n'imihindagurikire nicyo kigoye cyane psyche yumugore, kandi ntibishoboka kurokoka nta gihombo cyamarangamutima no kumubiri.

Icyaha

Nyuma yo kumenya umugore wa byanze bishikarizwa n'umutwe we mu nda inzika. Iki cyaha ntigifite uwakiriye neza: umugore ababara n'umugabo we, kandi ku bihe, no kuri nkana, ndetse no ku bakunzi n'inshuti. Ubu ni leta yintera yinzara kuri buri kintu icyarimwe: Kuki njye ntagira amahirwe?

Inzika irashobora guhuzwa nuburakari cyangwa kwiheba. Imizingo yumugore mu kwibuka ibintu mbere yo gutandukana kandi irimo guhura nububabare budasanzwe kuri ibi. Gushakisha uwabikoze nigice gikurikira cyo mumitekerereze yose buri mugore watanye afite. Ninde washoboraga gutanga itandukaniro na a nyirabuja, ababyeyi, abana, abakobwa bakobwa, inshuti? Ibi rwose bigomba kumenya no gutuza gato (kubera ko ntashaka kwatura umuntu wese mumakosa yawe).

Ikigo ni imiterere yumugabo wumugore mugihe atangiye gushinja icyaha nta cyaha nta cyaha akabona isoko yibibazo bye byose. Uburakari bwe burashobora gusenyuka kuri bene wabo cyangwa abana, kandi hari amahirwe yose yo kwangiza bene wabo igihe kirekire. Kubwibyo, abahanga mu by'imitekerereze bagira inama yo kudashaka intandaro y'ibibazo byose, ariko gerageza kuvugurura no kwemera byanze bikunze.

Icyaha

Icyiciro gikurikira munzira yo guhuza n'imihindagurikire y'ikirere ni ukuticira urubanza. Umugore aje kubitekerezo ko imyitwarire ye ari yo yateje ubutane ko byari ngombwa kuvuga no gutemba ukundi. Ahari hari ahantu ho guceceka, ahantu hatanga inzira, ahantu runaka ntitwitondera kandi ubabarire.

Icyitonderwa! Abagore bakunda kumva icyaha cyabo imbere yumugabo we nubwo habaye kuruhuka umubano kubera nyirabuja.

Imitekerereze yumugore itunganijwe muburyo budasanzwe, byumwihariko, psyche yumugore wu Burusiya. Abarusiya bakunda gufata inshingano zose, bibwira ko bashinja imyitwarire y'abagabo be no kubabaza ibi. Iyi ni leta iteye akaga, kubera ko imibabaro idasobanutse ishobora kuzanwa mu gitero cyo mu mutwe cyangwa ku mbaraga zitontoma. Muri iki gihe, ntibishoboka kuguma wenyine n'ibitekerezo bye, birakenewe kubohora ubugingo mu birori byakiriwe muri psychologue cyangwa mumaboko yumuntu kavukire.

Kwiheba

Iyi niyo ntambwe iteye akaga kandi ifite inshingano zo kurwanya imihindagurikire y'ikirere. Nigute umugore wa psyche, uko ashima kandi akunda wenyine? Ndashaka kumenya ko kwiheba mu mavuriro bidashoboka gusa rimwe na rimwe gusa: iyi ni amahano ya endogenous, ni ukuvuga ko adashingiye kubintu byo hanze. Igihugu gisanzwe kibangamira imirwago yubuzima ntigihagarariye, gishobora gusangira indwara zidakira cyangwa gutera impanuka (kugwa, gutwika kutitaho no gutatana).

Icyitonderwa! Niba leta yihebye imara amezi arenga atandatu, iyi niyo mpamvu yo gukoresha uruzinduko kuri psychotherapiste.

Mu bihe byo kwiheba, umugore arashobora gukora ibikorwa bitari ngombwa:

• Gerageza gusubiza uwahoze ari umugabo;
• Kugerageza kwerekana ko umukunda;
• kubyuka murugo;
• Kugerageza gutoranya nurukundo rwe rushya.

Urutonde rwibikorwa byabasazi nibidakenewe birashobora guhora tumara igihe kinini, buri mugore bizaba bidasanzwe. Abahanga mu by'imitekerereze bavuga ko umugore ari bibi kuri iyo myitwarire gusa: ahubwo guhuza no gutandukana byihuse no gutangira kubaka ubuzima bushya, yatangiye kubaka ubuzima bushya, yinangiye kwizirika ku mibanire yamaze kunanira.

Icy'ingenzi! Nyuma yo gutandukana, urashobora kwishima cyane kuruta kubashakanye nuwahoze ari umugabo.

Abagore benshi barahanaguye ku bwenge bwabo no kutagira icyaha, biteguye gutamba umunezero wabo. Kuki tumara imyaka yo gusubiza uwahoze ari umugabo no kwerekana ko uruta abandinda niba ushobora kubona umunezero mushya nundi mugabo? Abagore benshi birinda ubwibone no kumva akamaro kabo: Yatinyutse ate? Kandi bake cyane barashobora kwibaza ikindi kibazo: Nukuri ni ubuntu nkumuyaga ubu? Birakenewe gukoresha ubuzima bushya muburyo bwiza, kandi ntugerageze kubyutsa abapfuye.

Kwemeza byanze bikunze

Iyo umugore anyuze mu ruziga rwose rw'imbere rw'ikuzimu, bizatandukana nk'icyeraro cyizerwa. Irabazwa, ariko ntibyashobokaga kuyifata ako kanya? Ibi birumvikana ko ikibazo cyukuri kubagore benshi ntigisubizwa. Imitekerereze yumugore wacu yateguwe kugirango badashobora kureka uko ibintu bimeze nta rugamba. Birababaje kubona hari igihe kinini cyane ku rugamba rudafite ishingiro, rushobora gukoreshwa ku nyungu.

Amaherezo, umugore watanye atangiye gushaka inyungu zo gutandukana n'uwahozeho, amaherezo itangira gutekereza ku gihe kizaza kandi yitondere abagabo bakikije. Rimwe na rimwe, iki gihe gihuye nuburyo bwo kugarura imitsi yatewe no kuvura ibisebe bitandukanye kubutaka butandukanye.

Gutwita no gutandukana

Iki nikibazo kidasanzwe, ntibishoboka kubaho nta gihombo cyamarangamutima. Umugore utwite akenera inkunga yo gusobanukirwa burundu no gusobanukirwa, kandi ntabwo yibasiwe no kudatandukana. Abagore batereranye bemeza ko kurokoka ubutane mugihe batwite inshuro igihumbi zigoye kandi zidasanzwe. Amateka yubutaka butajegajega ntashobora kwihanganira kwiyongera kwamarangamutima mabi. Mbere yumugore utwite, ikibazo cyo kurokoka ni gikano: ntakintu nakimwe.

Ntugomba kwiruka kubagore bagore kandi ugasaba gukuramo inda: umwana ntagomba kuba igikoresho cyo kwihorera numugabo na se wirengagije. Uyu mwana ntabwo ari uryozwa ikintu icyo ari cyo cyose, ntibikeneye kwicwa. Byongeye kandi, se wirengagije ntizitabira iyicwa ry'undi mwana utaravuka, ntabwo rero utinyuka kubikora. Gukuramo inda, ku buryo, ushishikazwa n'amarangamutima aremereye, kuko perest Permonal yimuwe cyane n'umubiri. Ntabwo worohereza imiterere yawe, ariko biragoye cyane.

Wibuke ko hamwe no kuvuka k'umwana hazaba impinduka ityaye mubuzima: Bizaba byuzuye ibisobanuro bishya nibitekerezo bishya. Ibinyuranye nibyo, ugomba kwitega kuvuba numwana bishimye kwibiza umutwe wawe mwisi nziza yibyiyumvo byababyeyi. Abagore benshi barota ubugabo, butaboneka kuri bo kubera imico karemano, kandi kamere igushobore kuba umubyeyi. Igomba gushimirwa.

Inama zifatika kubagore batwite:

• Birakenewe kuvugana numuntu wizeye umuntu, witeguye kukwumva no kurambura ukuboko;
• Ntugasone intimba yawe, shaka kwishimisha wenyine cyangwa witabe club mu nyungu;
• Witondere kwita ku bana, bizakurangaza ibitekerezo bikomeye bijyanye no guhemukirwa n'uwahoze ari umugabo;
• Ntugerageze kumvikana ibyahise, nibyiza kohereza ibitekerezo ku kizaza cyiza ejo hazaza hamwe numwana.

Abahanga mu by'imitekerereze bavuga ko ibitekerezo byabantu bifite imiterere yibintu, ugomba rero gutekereza gusa kubintu byingirakamaro kandi bishimishije. Ibyiyumvo byababyeyi ni byiza cyane kwisi, bitanga rwose inzozi zumwana w'ejo hazaza nubuzima bushya bwishimye.

Ubukwe bushya

Abagore benshi batinya gukora umubano mushya cyane nyuma yubukwe budatsinzwe. Ariko ubwo bwoba ntafite ishingiro: Abantu bose baratandukanye. Ariko, ntugomba kugwa mubindi bikabije kandi ushakishe gukira kubabara ububabare bwa kera. Ibinyuranye, gake urukundo birashobora kuzana imibabaro myinshi kuruta kera. Noneho, shakisha umubano udakira ububabare, ariko ibyiyumvo nyabyo.

Ariko mbere yuko ukeneye gukora akazi kumakosa kandi wumve impamvu ubukwe bwabanje bwatandukanijwe. Niba ibi bidakozwe, amahirwe yo gutsindwa gushya kwiyongera rimwe na rimwe. Ahubwo, urashobora gutera intambwe kuri rake imwe hanyuma ubone igikundiro gishya kuruhanga. Ntukihute, ntugerageze kwerekana ko uzigamye mu bantu: Ntacyo. Birasa cyane no kwihorera ubwibone bukabije kuruta urukundo ruvuye ku mutima.

Abagore benshi kubwimpamvu runaka ntibashaka kuguma jyenyine munzu, bityo bagerageza kubona vuba umugabo wawe. Ariko ntabwo abantu bose bafite amazu yayo, kandi benshi bemera gutura munzu yabo ndetse nonyine. Azashobora gushima ibizabazwa nawe, uzashobora gushimira.

Ubuzima bushya

Ubuhemu bwuwo ukunda nikigeragezo gikomeye mubuzima bwumugore watereranywe. Ariko, iki kizamini kigomba gufatwa neza, kutagwa mukagari kandi ntukore ubuswa. Umugore utazi kwigumya mumaboko ye, asa nkuwisetsa kandi arababara . Wibuke ibi kandi ntukemere ibishuko byo gutegura scandal nziza cyangwa ikintu nkicyo.

Ugomba gutangira gutegura ejo hazaza hawe, uzirikane amakosa yashize no gutenguha. Ubunararibonye bukabije nabwo burahura, bityo bigomba gusuzumwa mu cyubahiro. Ntugerageze gusuka inzoga z'umusozi: Ntibigishoboye gukorerwa umuntu. Inzoga zisohoka mu mubiri, kandi akababaro kagumaho umuntu.

Wibuke: Kwishima muri iki gihe, ugomba gushobora kureka ibyahise. Mugihe uzunguruka mumutwe wibiganiro bidashimishije kandi wibuke uwahoze ari umugabo, ntuzashobora kuba umugore wishimye mubuzima bushya. Ntugomba gukurura imyanda ishaje mubuzima bushya, ahinduka gusa kandi ntangurize inyungu.

Ku nyandiko! Wige kubona ibihe byiza (byunguka) mubihe bidashimishije.

Kugirango ukureho ibitekerezo bitari ngombwa, ugomba kubasimbuza abashya. Tangira kwishora mubintu bishimishije, koresha ibintu rusange, kora ibyo ukunda cyangwa kwiga ururimi rushya rwamahanga. Kubona ubucuruzi bushimishije birarangaza neza ibitekerezo bitesha umutwe no kwibuka. Urashobora gutangira gusana munzu cyangwa kuvugurura ibintu.

Guhindura ishusho bifite ingaruka nziza kuri buri mugore. Andika kuri cosmetologiste, kugura abiyandikishije kuvura cyangwa gukora gusa. Hamwe na sub ivuguruye mubuzima bwawe hazaba harimo impinduka nziza.

Kandi wibuke: ni ibicucu kwica umuntu wahemutse kandi ubuhemu. Ntabwo yari akwiye kuba akwiye kuri wewe, ni ko bizamura kuri we. Ntukarakare kubera umubano wananiranye, ubu bunararibonye bukabije bwagutungishije kandi bukarusha. Rimwe n'iteka ryose, byambukiranya izina ryuyu mugabo mububiko bwawe kandi ntugateze ubuzima kubera umuntu udakwiriye.