Ungayixolela umyeni wenkunkuma kwaye uqhubeke ukuze uphile

Ukugcina ubudlelwane obushushu ngexesha lobomi bentsapho yinto enzima, yomsebenzi wemihla ngemihla kuwo omabini amaqabane. Ngelishwa, ayinguye wonke umntu ophumelelayo, kwaye ngenxa yeengxabano rhoqo okanye ukunqongophala, eyenzekayo, kwaye uhlala ephuma kwindoda yakhe.

Kungakhathaliseki ukuba iqabane engalunganga akazange azame ukufihla isenzo, kungekudala umfazi liyaqonda ngayo, kwaye oko kuya kuba ukhetho nzima phambi kwaso - mtshato okanye zama ukugcina umtshato. Kweli nqaku, ndiza kukuxelela indlela yokusithethela ngokungcatshanga, ndingakhumbuli, kwaye ndiza kukuxelela ukuba kukwiphepha le nto kufanelekile ukuba lihlulwe.

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Ukuba kukho uthando oluqinisekileyo kusapho, yonke imiqobo yoyiswa. Ayinamsebenzi isizathu sokuba umyeni atshintshe umfazi wakhe - wonke umntu unokwenza impazamo, eyona nto iphambili kukuziqonda ngokunyanisekileyo. Ukuba umfazi ufuna ukugcina ubudlelwane, kuya kufuneka azame ukuxolela iqabane lakhe elingalunganga, kodwa ngalo, kufuneka enze imizamo yokuzithemba.

Khubale nje ngento eyenzekileyo ayinakwenzeka. Nokuba lo mfazi unika isithembiso kuye kunye nomyeni wakhe, abangayi kukhumbula ukungcatsha, kwaye bayakukhusela nantoni na engasenzekanga, emva kokuba engakhutshwa. Qho xa esiya kuphela ngesikhumba, kwaye ngokuthe ngcembe ubudlelwane buya kuthi buchithe kuphela. Ingxaki kufuneka ithethwa, kwaye ifumaneke ngokufumana indlela yokuyicombulula, kodwa ukuthintela ingqumbo, ukungakhubeki kunye namava-ayisiyiyo indlela yokuphuma.

Kubalulekile ukuba uqonde ukuba ayingabo bonke abangcatshayo. Ukwenza oku, kufuneka kubekho iimpikiswano ezinzima. Ngaphandle koko, umntu unokuyeka ukuhlonela iqabane lakhe, aze agqibe kwelokuba unelungelo lokwenza ezo zinto, kuba uyawavala amehlo akhe.

Njengomthetho, umfazi ulungele ukuxolela ukungcatshwa ukuba kukho ubudlelwane obuhle kusapho kwaye kukho abantwana abadibeneyo. Kwisigqibo sayo kwindawo yokuhlala edibeneyo iya kubaphembelela ukuxhomekeka kwindoda okanye ukungabikho kwendawo yabo yokuhlala. Ukuba ubunzima apho umfazi kuya kufuneka ajongene nawo emva koqhawulo-mtshato akabalulekanga kwaye woyise, kwaye ubudlelwane butshintshile, kwaye kufanelekile ukucinga ngokuhlukana.

Kuyinto engenakwenzeka ukuba inike elinye ithuba lendoda yakhe xa le:

• utshintsho rhoqo;
• Akagqali isongo kunye nelinye ibhinqa;
• uyala ukuqaphela kwiseti, ukuba kukho ubungqina;
• Kuyo yonke into ityhola iqabane.

Izinto ezidwelisiweyo zizikhombisi zokuba indoda ayitshintshi. Akamhlonelisi umfazi wakhe, kwaye akabalulekanga kuye ukuze azilahle iiziyolo.

7 Amanyathelo okuxolelwa

Indlela yokuxolelwa kudala kwaye inzima, ke sukucinga ukuba uya kuba nakho ukulibala ukungcatshwa kwendoda ngokoqobo ngeveki. Ukuba ibhinqa lifuna ngokwenene ukutshata, kuya kufuneka afunde ukukhohlisa nobulumko. Iingcali zengqondo zicebisa ukuqala la manyathelo alandelayo:

1. Incoko ethe tye. Xa iimvakalelo zizolile, kufuneka zithethe ngokungagungqiyo nendoda yakhe, kodwa hayi kwimibala ephakamileyo, kodwa njengokuzola kwaye eyakhayo. Kubalulekile ukuba uzigcine ezandleni zakho, hayi ukuthuka hayi ityala. Nika iqabane lakho ukuba lichaze ukuba yintoni ebangele ukuba kuxoxwe. Imele iqondwe njengoko ibona ubudlelwane bakho obungaphezulu, kwaye okulungele ukwenziwa ngoxolelwaniso. Ngexesha lencoko, nikela ingqalelo ekuziphatheni kunye nokucaphukisa umntu ukuqonda ukuba injani.
2. Inceba-Hayi! Abasetyhini bahlala bethambekele ukuzibeka ityala ukuba umyeni "uye ngasekhohlo", kodwa oku akunakwenziwa nangayiphi na imeko. Ungumdala, kwaye kufuneka abe noxanduva ngezenzo zakhe. Ukuba kukho into eyayingoneliseki bubudlelwane, kwafuneka ukuba axoxe ngayo nenkosikazi yakhe, kwaye afumane isicombululo, endaweni yokulala nomnye umfazi. Batyhola, akuyi kulixolela iqabane lam, kwaye uhlale naye ububele, kodwa kungekuko ngenxa yokuthanda.

   

3. Jikela ingqalelo. Ukuze uxolele, umyeni wakhe uya kufuna ixesha elininzi, ukuze angacingi ngokungcatsha, kuyacetyiswa ukuba uguqule ingqalelo yabo kwezinye izinto. Ukuba kukho abantwana - bajikeleze ngononophelo nothando, bazame ukuchitha ixesha elininzi kunye nabo. Ukuba akukho bantwana, emva koko uphosa umsebenzi. I-suss yentsebenzo yemihla ngemihla kunye nengqesho esisigxina iya kunceda ukuphazamisa iingcinga ezimbi. Olunye ukhetho olulungileyo yindawo entsha yokuzonwabisa enomdla.
4. I-egosm encinci ayibuhlungu. Ulonwabo lwabasetyhini abancinci, njengokuthenga, ukuhamba nge-salon yobuhle, ukuhamba kwi-cafe kunye neentombi kunye nokuya kuthi ga ngoku, nceda ulibale malunga ne-negative. Ihlala ihlala ikwazi ukuzibandakanya, yenza into endiyithandayo ukuyinqanda, kwaye ngokukhawuleza uqaphele ukuba ukhumbule kunqabile, imvakalelo ihlala intle kakhulu, kwaye ukuzithemba kunyukile kakhulu.
5. Ungalali uncedo kunye nenkxaso. Abafazi abaninzi bakhetha ukufumana ukuvukela kuphela. Abanye abafuni kubasindisa, abanye bakholelwa ukuba banokuhlangabezana ngokuzimeleyo, kwaye owesithathu udanile ukuba kwenzeke kubo, nokoyika ukugwetywa. Iingcali zengqondo zinconywa ngamandla ukuba zingavali, kodwa zicele abantu abaluncedo. Thetha nabo bathembele, buza ukuba uza kwenza ntoni endaweni yakho. Okukhona rhoqo uya kulungisa ingxaki - ezona zincinci ziya kubonakala kuwe.
6. I-TABA i-charais kunye nezikhumbuzo. Ukuba ufuna ukusindisa usapho, emva kokuba incoko engenayise nomyeni wam, ungamkhumbuzi ngokuvukela kwaye ungamgculeli kwisenzo. Kuya kufuneka sibe nomonde, kwaye sihlandlo ngasinye ekumnqamleze iimvakalelo ukuzikhumbuza ukuba akukho mntu uphelele kwiimpazamo, eyona nto iphambili kukuba uyayazi loo nto.
7. Ukwahlula okwethutyana. Qhubeka nokuphila nomyeni womngcatso kwaye wenze ngathi akukho nto izamile inzima. Ngendlela yokucaphuka kunye nengqumbo ukubanda kancinci, kufanelekile ukusebenzisa ixesha. Kungcono ukutshintsha iimpahla zomfazi. Kucetyiswa ukuba uye kwindawo yokuchithela indawo okanye undwendwele izalamane iiveki ezi-2. Ukwahlukana okwethutyana kuya kunceda ekucingeni iingcinga, nokuba kunesithukuthezi kunye ne-scoundrel oyithandayo.

Ungayixolela njani umyeni wokutshutshiswa-Iingcebiso zengqondo

Emva kokufunda ukungcatshwa, kunzima ukugcina ukwenziwa, kodwa ukuba wagqiba kwelokuba aqhubeke nokulala nomyeni wakhe, kuya kufuneka afunde ukulawula iimvakalelo zakhe, kwaye athethe ngokuqinileyo isisombululo sale ngxaki. Ukulondolozwa kosapho, oogqirha bengqondo bacebisa ukubanjwa kwezi ngcebiso zilandelayo:

• Akukho sidingo sothusayo kwaye ucwangcise ii-hysterics, kuba inxeba lokomoya liya kuphilisa kungekudala, kwaye ubudlelwane nomyeni wayo bunokutshintsha ngokungakhathali. Akukho mfuneko yokuqalisa ukufumana ubudlelwane nabantu bangaphandle, okanye ukukhalaza ngeqabane elingalunganga kubahlobo nakwizihlobo.
• Kuyimfuneko ukufumana indlela yokuphelisa iimvakalelo ezingalunganga. Omnye umntu unceda ezemidlalo okanye umculo, kunye nomntu obetha izitya. Into ephambili kukuba indlela ekhethiweyo yokucoca umsindo ayikonzakalisi okanye abanye.
• Musa ukumphulisa umyeni wakho kwaye ungayivali kuyo, ngenxa yokuba iincoko ezi-Franks kwithoni ezolileyo ziya kuxhamla kuphela.
• Musa ukuziphindezela neqabane lam ingqekembe efanayo. Oku kuya kukhokelela kwintshabalalo yokugqibela yolwalamano. Ukongeza, umfazi unzima ngokwengqondo, kodwa ukuba uzibophelele, iya kuqhubeka nokuhlupheka ekuzisolekeni.
• Bona ngakumbi nabahlobo kwaye uye kwizehlo zokuzonwabisa, endaweni yokuchitha ixesha yedwa.
• Sukuzama ukufunda okuthile malunga nomntu obhinqileyo umyeni wam. Kwaye ngaphezulu ukuze ungayiboni okanye unxibelelane.
• Qala ukugcina idayari apho uza kurekhoda khona zonke iingcinga zakho. Le ndlela inceda ukususa ingqumbo kunye nengqumbo. Unokubhala ileta umyeni wam, emva koko uyitshise, imele ukuba yonke into embi.
• Ngamaxesha oxinzelelo lweemvakalelo, kuyacetyiswa ukuba wenze umoya onzulu, kwaye ubale kancinci ukuya kwishumi. Le ndlela iya kukuvumela ukuba uphumle, kwaye ucinge ngezenzo zakho.

Ungayixolela umyeni wenkunkuma kwaye uphile?

Sifunde ukuxoxwa kwendoda yomyeni wakhe, isimo sengqondo sitshintsha. Akukho thintelo kunye nomnqweno wokuyilawula. Ibhinqa liqala ukubuza onke amazwi nezenzo zakhe. Kodwa ukuba wagqiba kwelokuba agcine usapho, kuya kufuneka afunde ukuthemba iqabane labo kwakhona, kodwa kufuneka athathe inxaxheba. Ukukhawulezisa intlekele, amaqabane afuna ukusebenza ekuphuculeni ubudlelwane, kwaye oku kulandelayo kuya kunceda koku:

• Thatha imiqondiso yoqwalaselo kunye nezincomo, kuba ngale ndlela umyeni uzama ukulichasa ityala lakhe, kwaye abonise ukuba unjalo iindlela.
• Awudingi ukuba lixhoba, kwaye usoloko uyiloma imeko, ekhumbuza iqabane lakho malunga nempazamo yakhe.
• Zibukele njengangaphambili, ungazami ukulawula ukuthoba umyeni wakho.
• Qala ukuchitha ixesha kunye ukubuyisela ukuqaqamba kunye nokuthandana kubudlelwane. Inokuba yi-dibanise ifilimu, ishishini elinomdla, ishishini elinomdla, ivenkile okanye kwigumbi lokutyela.
• Ukuba kukho abantwana abadibeneyo, kuya kufuneka uchithe usapho lonke rhoqo, kuya kukunceda ukukhumbuza iimvakalelo kunye nento ogqiba kwelokuba ugqibe ukuxolelwa uBhalay.

Ewe kunjalo, ukungcatsha kweqabane lishiya i-interting kulwalamano, kwaye ulibale nje malunga akunakwenzeka. Kodwa ukuba amaqabane afuna ngokwenene ukusindisa usapho, kwaye akulungele ukwenza le nto, baya kuba nakho ukusinda kule ntlekele. Ukuba ayisebenzi ngokuzimeleyo inengxaki, kuyacetyiswa ukuba uqhagamshelane nogqirha wezengqondo onosapho oya kunceda ukuseka ubudlelwane.

Iziphumo

• Ungamxolela umyeni wam ukuba angcatshe, kodwa kuthatha ixesha kunye nomzamo omkhulu.
• Ngamanye amaxesha, akufuneki unike ithuba lesibini kwindoda- kungcono ukuqhawula umtshato.
• Ukuze uphumelele ukungcatshwa ngokukhawuleza, awungekhe ugcine iimvakalelo zakho kwaye wenze ngathi yenzekile.