Iingqungxwaba ezisisigxina kubudlelwane, abazali baphazamisa ekukhetheni umsebenzi kwaye bathintela ukudibana nomntu omthandayo? Esi sisixa esingavuleki. Ukuba ukongeza iimvakalelo ezingabhalwanga kunye neethagethi ezilungiselelwe ngokungachanekanga kunye nezinto eziphambili ngokubaluleka, akunakuba nakho ukuphikisana "nethamsanqa".
Vala i-Gestalt: Oku kuthetha ntoni amagama alula? Cinga ngombuzo kwinqaku, kuba nje sele ithandwa kwaye ifune. Ndide nentombi, igradi yesixhenxe inomdla kumbuzo we-gesshtalta engenisiweyo. Kubonakala ngathi wonke umntu waqalisa ukubandakanyeka kwi-psychology. Mhlawumbi le yeyokuqala.
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Ithetha ukuthini igama elingaqondakaliyo "I-Gestalt"? Ukuba uyaguqulela ukusuka eJamani, emva koko "umfanekiso", "wakhiwa", "ifom" ifunyenwe. Oku kuncinci malunga nento engakhange inikwe i-psychology. Malunga neGestalt engavuzwanga itsho ukuba imeko ithile kwixa elidlulileyo lahlala ingapheli. Yintoni eyona meko iyingozi engaphelelanga? Isibakala sokuba uyaphindaphinda kwakhona: Umntu kwakhona kwaye kwakhona uza kwi-rake enye kwaye akanakuphazamisa isangqa esikhohlakeleyo.
Uye waqaphela ukuba zihlala zidibana nabantu be-psychotype efanayo, umzekelo, u-hammsi? Okanye ubatshutshisa imeko efanayo yobomi, ubuya kuba phi? Njengendawo yokugqibela, umntu uphupha rhoqo iphupha elifanayo lobusuku, umzekelo, ukuba ubulewe okanye emva kwakhe unethuba lento entle kwaye akanakufumana. Yonke le yimizekelo ye-guncelt engavulwanga.
Vala i-gugelt: Athini amagama alula? Kuthetha ukubeka inqaku ekupheleni kwesivakalisi, oko kukuthi, imeko engafakwanga kwixesha elidlulileyo. Umzekelo, umntwana ongafakwanga kubazali uthuthuzela nabazali abanempahla eqingqiweyo emphefumlweni kwaye minyaka le baya kuba nzima. Kodwa ungasivalela njani isinambuzane kubudlelwane xa abazali bengasaphili? Oku kubhekisele kumsebenzi wangaphakathi kunye nengcali yakhe, ke ubukho beVesati akuyimfuneko, nangona ukhetho lokusebenza nokuthatha inxaxheba kweqela lesibini linokwenzeka.
Kutheni le nto ivulekile iluncedo kunokuphelisa? Kuba kuhlala kulula ukutshabalalisa kunokwakha. Kodwa ngenxa yolusu lwethu, oko akunamsebenzi, oko kunzima kwaye kunzima ngakumbi: kudala ukungakhathazeki kwengqondo ngaphakathi kuthi ukuba asivalanga isinambuzane. Kwenzeka njani ukuba kube senzeka ebomini? Umzekelo, siya rhoqo kwimeko engathandekiyo, eyoyika kakhulu okanye ibangela imvakalelo yokutshisa ihlazo. Kukho umzekeliso: Yintoni eyoyikayo, yenzeka.
Yintoni i-istalt engakhange ibonakale ngathi ngulwalamano nomnye umntu? Siza kukhangela intlanganiso kunye nomntu ofanayo okanye ukumkhangela umntu oza kuthetha amagama athile okanye enze into. Kwaye asiyi kusiqonda isizathu sokuba singene ngalo lonke ixesha iziqendu okanye abalandeli kwindlela yobomi. Kodwa yonke into ilula kakhulu: Kufuneka ugcwalise i-gukelt, ukuze usebenze imeko yangaphambili ukuze ingapheli.
Uyaziwa xa abantu benza usapho olutsha nolunye iqabane, kodwa ngenxa yoko, bayayinyibilikisa isizathu esinye esasishiya iqabane langaphambili? Lo nguwo wonke umbuzo we-guncelt engavulwanga: bafumana indawo efanelekileyo yokuhlala okanye inyamakazi yabo. Nokuba bangaphinda kaninzi, ibali elinye liphindwe.
I-Invelt Gestalt-Umzekelo
Makhe siqwalasele isilwanyana esingavulwanga kumzekelo kunye nabazali. Ebuntwaneni, umntwana ngamnye uyaqonda ukuba intlalontle yakhe ixhomekeke ngokupheleleyo ekuthobeleni abazali. Ukuba uphoxe into, ayizukuyifumana iilekese okanye ilahle ithuba lokudlala umdlalo wekhompyuter. Kuyavela ukuba imeko yokusindala umntwana iba likhoboka "labazali. Nantoni na esingayicingi ngale nto, kodwa iimeko zazinjalo ngokuchanekileyo.
Kukangaphi sikhubeke kangakanani kubazali bakho, kwenzeka kangaphi ukuginya? Kodwa ezi zonke amagama angacalucalulo kwaye oxinezelekile akasabelani naphi na: bayaqhubeka nokubakho kwi-subconstoning yethu kwaye balungisa isenzo sethu, nangona sele sibazali. Kodwa kutheni singakwazi ukulahlekelwa yile thsona emphefumlweni kwaye sihlukane neenkumbulo ezinzima kunye neemvakalelo? Kungenxa yokuba ebuntwaneni, i-Axiom yafundile: Chaza ngokuthe ngqo iingcinga neemvakalelo zakhe ziyingozi.
Yeyiphi eyona nto imangalisayo, kodwa ubudlelwane obungalunganga kunye nabazali buyonakalisa ubomi. Njengomntwana, sasingathandani uthando kwaye sinikele ingqalelo, sigxekwa (abazali) kwaye bohlwaywe. Kwaye thina (abantwana) besilinde ukuba sixatyiswe kwaye singathanda ukuba sasinjalo. Kwaye olu ulindelo siyatshintsha kwabanye abantu: Silindele ukuba sizixabise kwaye sithande. Xa oku kungenzeka, sidibana nabantu 'ngokusilela' kuthi. Nantsi isangqa esikhohlakeleyo.
Kodwa ungayisusa njani le mpahla ngoku? Ukwenza oku, kuya kufuneka ugqithise iimeko zakho zangaphambili, ukuqonda iimeko ezibuhlungu kwaye ubeke inqaku. Lo ngumsebenzi wangaphakathi kunye noncedo lwe-psychotherapist okanye ugqirha wezengqondo. Kwixesha elizayo, ngalo msebenzi wangaphakathi, kuya kuba nakho ukujamelana nawe, inyathelo ngenyathelo likhululwe kwiimeko ezibuhlungu ukusuka kwixesha elidlulileyo okanye elikhoyo.
Ungaziva njani gostalt ngokwakho
Ukwenza oku, kufuneka ulandele izinto ezintathu ezilula:- chonga imeko yengxaki;
- phawula kwifom yomlomo (okanye ubhale);
- Thatha imeko leyo, uphosa kwakhona kwaye ufumane amaqela afanelekileyo.
Zininzi iimeko ezinganyanzelekanga ebomini bethu, kodwa nabani na uphazamisa abanye. Nantsi ivela kuye kwaye kufuneka uqale unxibelelwano lwangaphakathi. Oku kubizwa ngokuba - ukuyichonga imeko. Kuyimfuneko ukusebenza kunye nale meko inzakalisayo kunye nenzakalise ukuphila. Bhala phantsi kwincwadana yonke into ephazanyiswa ngalo mzuzu, icaphukisa okanye ibangela ukucaphuka.
Emva koko, kufuneka unyule into ongayithandiyo kule meko. Njengokuba, ngokoluvo lwakho, imicimbi yayikufuneka iphuhlisa, kwaye uyifundisile le meko ibonisiweyo. Kuyimfuneko ukuba babonakale ngokunyaniseka ukuba babonakale inyaniso emehlweni kwaye bafumane amaqela afanelekileyo kwimeko ebuhlungu. Ukuba oku akwenziwanga, i-gugelt ayiyi kuvalwa.
Umzekelo, ngenxa yokungalunganga (ngokoluvo lwakho) isimo sengqondo sabazali, ukwazile ukuba nesibindi kwaye uzimele. I-EGO yethu ifuna ukubona isimo sengqondo sokungalunganga kwaye inyembezi echithekileyo, izama ukungahoyi amaxesha aqinisekileyo. Asiqapheli ukuba ngenxa yobunzima esiba ngabantu bokwenyani kwaye sifezekisa izithembiso ezininzi.
Buyisela imeko kwixesha elidlulileyo
Ungayenza njani? Kuyimfuneko ukufunxa kolunye uphuhliso lwemeko edlulileyo eya kwanelisa iimvakalelo zakho kunye ne-EGO. Umzekelo, ubhaptizelwe ngokupheleleyo kubudlelwane nabazali bakho kwaye ngenkalipho chaza amabakala akho. Veza into eyayiyoyika ukutsho emva kokuba ebuntwaneni. Ngeli xesha, kufuneka uzive ukhululekile, ngokungathi umthwalo ovela egxalabeni wawa. Ukuba oku akwenzekanga, awuzange uveze yonke into de kube sekupheleni.
Kwinqaku! Eyona nto ibaluleke kakhulu kufundo lwemeko yokuzikhathalela kukuyeka ukuzive njengexhoba.
Kwenzeka ukuba ukusuka kwinzame yokuqala ayasilela ukuvala i-gugelt, kuba imeko yenzekile. Kodwa kuya kufuneka uzame kwakhona, kwaye kuya kufuneka. Ngokuqinisekileyo kufuneka uveze yonke into ukuya esiphelweni ukuze kungabikho nto. Njani ukufumanisa isinambuzane esivaliweyo kubudlelwane? Kuphela ngendlela enamava. Masithi xa kubhaptizelwa kwimeko ebuhlungu, awusenantlungu okanye umsindo.
Emva kokufundisisa, kufuneka ucofe kwimeko kwakhona, kodwa sele eneenjongo ezithile. Ukugqiba kwelokuba le meko ilungileyo yemeko yobuhlungu, kuyimfuneko ukuba imbulele kuye ukuba unokuba namandla kwaye unamava aphezulu (nantoni na eyenzekayo).
Emva koko, imvakalelo yokungancedi kwaye ingento yanto iya kunyamalala: Uya kuziva umntu owahlukileyo ngokupheleleyo. Uyaqonda ukuba ubomi abukukubetha entloko, njengomvundla womfana, kodwa wanika ithuba lokufumana amava obomi axabisekileyo. Inqanaba lokugqibela lokufundisisa kweemeko ezibuhlungu kukuphononongwa kokubaluleke kakhulu kweli lizwe. Awulixhoba leemeko, kodwa amava obulumko alumkileyo.
Ukusebenza ngeGestaltami ayisiyomiphu, kodwa kufanelekile imizamo yabo. Inkululeko yangaphakathi kunye nokunqongophala kwamanyala abuthathaka kunye nokulimala kwexesha elide kuvula amathemba ngokubanzi ngobomi obuphumelelayo.