Ukudalwa kosapho yenye yezona njongo zobomi phantse kuzo zonke izintombazana. Baphupha ngokutshata nabantwana kwaye baphila ngolonwabo phambi kweentsuku zabo. Kodwa, ngelishwa, ayinguye wonke umntu ophumelelayo ukuya kuhlanganisa imeko efikayo ebomini. Rhoqo, abafana abafuni kuzithwalisa ngemitshato, nangona bebudlelwane hayi unyaka omnye.
Ndihlala nomntu omthandayo emtshatweni, kodwa akangxamisekanga ukuba andinike. Ukusuka kwincoko engenamafutha, uhlala ethumela, ndaye ndagqiba kwelokuba ndiguqukele kwingqondo yokuqonda ukuba kutheni le nto lo mfo engafuni kutshata. Kweli nqaku, ndiza kuthetha ngezizathu eziphambili zokunika umtshato kwaye undixelele indlela yokutyhala ngenyameko intanda yokuthathela ingqalelo kwisigqibo esibalulekileyo.
Kutheni engafuni kutshata?
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Ukuba umntu akafuni kutshata, unengqiqo elungileyo. Ngelishwa, abameli besini esomeleleyo abathandi ukuba bathandane, ngoko abafazi banokuqonda ukuba kutheni le nto intanda yabo iyenza loo nto. Ngokutsho kwezengqondo, ukungafuni ukutshata kunokuchazwa ngezi zizathu zilandelayo:
- Umzekelo ongaphumelelanga wabazali. Xa umntu ekuseni ebuntwaneni ejonge abazali babazali, ke umtshato uya kunxulumana neengxabano neengxaki. Kwaye ukuba inkwenkwe yayinethuba lokusinda uqhawulo-mtshato lukatata, unokukhulisa umbono wokuba umtshato uphela ngokuthatha inxaxheba. Umothuko lwabantwana uhlala ethintela umntu omdala ukuba akhe ubudlelwane obunempilo. Ngapha koko, akanakuyazi indlela yokwakha ubudlelwane obunempilo ukuba wayengenamzekelo ofanelekileyo.
- Uloyiko oluxanduva. Kwisicwangciso sokuziphatha kunye neemvakalelo, aba bantu bakhulela kakhulu emva kwamantombazana, ke, ukulungela umtshato kusondela kwiminyaka engama-30. Kodwa kufuneka kuqatshelwe ukuba amanye amadoda emva kokuba elandele iminyaka engama-40 engakulungelanga ukuthwala uxanduva kwaye enze usapho. Rhoqo oku kungenxa yokungaqiniseki ngokwayo okanye kwindawo yayo, kodwa ukungabi nakho ukuphelelwa kukungabi lumqondiso wokungabikho komntu. Uninzi lwaba bantu bakhetha ukuchitha ixesha nabahlobo, bahlala nabazali kwaye abanawo umthombo ozinzileyo wengeniso.
- Amava akho amangalisayo. Ukuba le ndoda yasasaza umtshato wokuqala, emva koko uzihlawule ngokwazo ezinemizalwane okwesibini akasayi kungxama. Oku kunokunxulunyaniswa nokwahlula kobuhlungu okanye umnqweno wokufumana inkululeko. Ihlala inamandla kwaye ifuna abafazi bangaphambili bebethe ukuzingela ukuze baphinde bafumane usapho, kuba Le ndoda ibonakala ngathi le iskripthi siya kuphinda.
- Umnqweno wokuhlala uzimele. Amadoda ayixabisile ngokwenene inkululeko yabo kwaye akafuni kuthobela mntu. Uninzi lwabo lukholelwa ukuba baya kuphulukana nenkululeko, umfazi uya kulawula onke amanyathelo kwaye nasiphi na isigqibo esiya kufuneka sithathwe. Abafana abancinci bayazikhathalela ngakumbi ukuba abayi kuphinda bakwazi ukuchitha ixesha nabahlobo kangangoko bafuna, baqhelene namantombazana kwaye ngaphezulu.
- Umntu okudala. Abantu bokuyila basoyika ukuphulukana nenkululeko yabo, kodwa ukuthandabuza ukutshata kuhlala kuchazwa yinyani yokuba bahlala bekhangela kwimyuziyam. Ngokoluvo lwabo, ubudlelwane obugqwesileyo kunye nomntu omnye uya kubeka umnqamlezo emsebenzini wabo, kuba ukuze kubekho ubugcisa, amadoda anjalo afuna iimvakalelo ezintsha kunye namava.
- Ayiboni kwaphela. Ukuba indoda ekuthiwayo ngumnxeba ifumana yonke into ayifunayo, ayiqondi ukuba kutheni ukubeka isitampu kwipasipoti. Ukuziphatha okunjalo kudla ngokulandelwa kwabo bahlala nentombi kumtshato waseburhulumenteni. Iingcali zengqondo azikucebisi ukuba uqalise ukuhlala ngaphambi komtshato, kuba Kwiimeko ezininzi, olo ubudlelwane obunjalo luye luphela ngomtshato, kodwa uqhawulo-mtshato. Umtshato waseburhulumenteni uvumela indoda ukuba ifumane wonke umtsalane wobomi bomtshato, kodwa kwangaxeshanye awazibuze iimbophelelo ezithandekayo.
- Akukho sidingo sokunyanzelisa. Amadoda aqolileyo ayanele, ngoko ke baqhele izigqibo zabo ngokwabo. Abathandi xa bezama ukwenza into ukuba benze into, kwaye bazame ukuphepha abo banengcinezelo okanye bafuna ukulawula. Isigqibo esibaluleke kangaka njengomtshato, lo mfo kufuneka amkele ngokuzimeleyo, kwaye ukuba akasekho, wayethandabuza, kodwa akuyomfuneko ukuba utye.
- Iinjongo zobomi ezahlukeneyo. Izibini apho abantu babona ikamva labo ngeendlela ezahlukeneyo, kungekudala snak. Eyona meko ixhaphakileyo kuxa intombazana ifuna abantwana, kwaye umntu ufuna ukwakha umsebenzi kuqala. Uyaqonda ukuba indalo yentsapho ayiqukiwe kwizicwangciso zakhe, kuba Iya kuthintela ukukhula kwayo kwicandelo lobuchule. Ukongeza, uyayiqonda loo nto okwangoku ayikwazi ukunika umfazi wakhe nomntwana wakhe.
- Akukho zimvakalelo zomeleleyo. Esona sizathu sibangela ukuba umtshato kukungabikho kothando lwenene. Xa lo mfo uneemvakalelo ezinamandla, uzama ukucela umngeni ukhetho awayenalo ngazo zonke iindlela ezinokubakho kwaye, owoyike ukulahlekelwa nguye, afuna ukutshata naye ngokukhawuleza.
Iindidi zamadoda
Ukuqonda ukuba kutheni indoda ingafuni ukutshata nendlela yokuwutyhila kule nto, kufuneka uyifumane, kwaye ulungelelene kangakanani naye. Abameli besini esomeleleyo kwindalo kunye nokuziphatha banokwahlulwa ngokwemilinganiselo yeentlobo ezi-6:
- Vukele. Guys kolu hlobo luye luthule kwaye luthule. Ukuba owokuqala kubo bonke babhengeza ukuthandabuza ukutshata, umzuzwana uziphathe ngokufihlakeleyo kwaye ukhetha ukuzisusa xa beqonda ukuba intombazana ilinde izandla neentliziyo ezivela kuye. Inqaku elipheleleyo labafana linqwenela ukuhamba ngokuchasene nemithetho kunye nokungafuni ukwazi ukuhlangabezana nolindelo lomntu. Ukutshata ubuntu obunjalo, kufuneka uye kwiqhinga okanye, mhlawumbi, thabatha kubuthathaka. "
- I-HARINBEFNE. Amadoda angaqinisekanga ahlala exhomekeke kumbono womnye umntu, kwaye xa usenza izigqibo zazidla ngokuxhomekeka kubantu abagunyazisiweyo. Isenokuba nguTata, umhlobo, umphathi okanye omnye umntu. Ukutyhala umntu onjalo ekuqaleni kobomi bomtshato akunzima, kuya kufuneka uqiniseke ukuba uphumelele, abantu abazizityebi bawuthathela ingqalelo umtshato ngenyathelo elifanelekileyo. Unokuzisa uluhlu lonke umntu ophumeleleyo nochumileyo onomfazi onenkathalo. Kodwa kubalulekile ukukhumbula ukuba ubuqhetseba bufanelekile ukuba bubonakale ngokungagungqi, ngenxa yoko ayifanelekanga ukuba 'ingabambeli "ulwazi oluyimfuneko kwintloko entloko.
- I-Narcistic. Indoda-i-narcissus iyondla imvakalelo enzulu ngokukodwa umntu wakhe kwaye ebomini ifuna ukwenza zonke iinye kuphela ngokwakhe kunye nokulunga kwakhe. Ngenxa yoko, uya kuvuma ngomtshato kuphela xa ebona kwesi sibonelelo. Intombazana efuna 'ilahle "umntu ozenzele i-free uyayinyanzela ukuba akhankanye iziyolo zokuhlala kunye, egxininisa kwintuthuzelo nokukhathalela umfazi onothando kumnika umyeni wakhe.
- Riple. Guys kolu hlobo zixhalabile ebomini. Banobubele kwaye bavulekile kwaye uninzi lwabo bonke behlabathi abafuni ukubadanisa abo babathandayo okanye babakhathaze. Ukuba uyayiqinisekisa umntu - xhasi ukuba umtshato uya kuhlawula izalamane nabahlobo bakhe, uya kumenza isigwebo sentanda yakhe.
- I-peding. Kubantu abahamba ngogxeki, yonke into kufuneka ibolekwe kwiishelfu, iingcinga ziyalelwe, zicetywe izicwangciso. Ukuba umfazi ufuna ukutshata le ndoda injalo, kufuneka athethe naye ngokuthe ngqo naye. Akukho mfuneko yokuthetha, kodwa ngokukodwa, ukuxoxa ngomhla owona mtshato, umhla wokuthenga iimpahla, impahla yokutyela, indawo yokutyela yombhiyozo, njl. Kubalulekile ukubala inani kwangaphambili ukuba kufuneka uchithe. Ukucinga nokwenza isigqibo, kuya kufuneka i-peeds okwethutyana. Ewe kunjalo, uya kuba negalelo kwishishini elicetywayo elicetywayo elicetywayo elicetywayo olunokuvumelana ngalo.
- Ngononophelo. Kwinto "yononophelo" lomntu "ngononophelo kuphela, kubalulekile ukuba uthini, kuba" yena "wakhe" wakhe woyika ukuphulukana nelukhuni emhlabeni. Ukuze angathandeki ukwenza isithembiso, kufuneka ubonakalise inkululeko, kufuneka ubonise into emtshatweni awunazibophelelo phambi kwakhe kwaye nangaliphi na ixesha onokuhlangula.
Ndingenza ntoni?
Nokuba umnqweno wokutshata, lo mfazi kufuneka azi ukuba ungaziphathi njani kunye nentanda. Intsimbi engachanekanga okanye ibinzana elixhaphakileyo lingawonakalisa ngokupheleleyo ubudlelwane, kwaye intanda iya kubaleka. Iingcali zengqondo zicebisa ukuba zithintele oku kulandelayo:- Isikhumbuzo esisisigxina somtshato. Ukuba umntu akafuni kutshata, ngoko abufanelekile ukuba angxami kwaye mihla le ngomnqweno wakhe. Khumbula, i-anoys yokuziphatha ecaphukisayo kunye nokucinezela.
- Isihloko somtshato sisigaba sabantu esibathandayo. Xa izihlobo kunye nabahlobo zihlala zibuzwa ukuba ngaba umtshato kungekudala, indoda ingaqalisa ukuchasa lo msitho. Abanye abantu basetyhini babonakala ngathi basondele abantu abasondeleyo banokunceda ukutyhala intanda ukuba enze isithembiso, kodwa akunjalo. Endaweni yoko, uya kuyiqonda ngentombazana, angaziva nje ukuba akhankanye umtshato. Kungcono ukubuza abantu kwizindawo ezikufutshane ukuba zingachaphazeli umxholo onjalo.
- I-Ultimatum - Hayi! Amanye amantombazana angakholelwa ukuba i-ulmimatum iya kumnceda umntu ngokukhawuleza ukuba athathe isigqibo ngomtshato. Ngapha koko, le ndlela yokuziphatha ipeyinta nje kwaye iyoyikisa, ke lo mfo uya kufumana amakhulu ezizathu, ukuze nje angazibizi ngokutshata no-Uzami otshatileyo onokhetheka.
- Akukho sidingo sokukhawulezisa iziganeko. Ukuba umbuzo womtshato waxutyushwa kwisibini, kodwa umhla othile awulungelelaniswanga, kuthetha ukuba lo mfo akakakulungeli. Rhoqo, ngaphandle kokubona inkqubela, amantombazana aqala ukukhumbula incoko okanye ngqo umbuzo: "Siya kuya nini kwi-ofisi yobhaliso?" Kodwa kubalulekile ukuqonda ukuba owona mbuzo uhlala uvakala, kokukhona umntu othandabuzayo ukuba uyayifuna.
Ngelishwa, akukho ndlela yokuphumla inye, indlela yokutyhala indoda ukuba umtshato, kuba wonke umntu emntu, kwaye ufuna indlela ekhethekileyo. Umfazi kuya kufuneka abonise ubulumko kwaye afumane umonde, kungenjalo angaphulukana nendoda yakhe oyithandayo ngenxa yokunyamezela kwabo. Guys, ngaphandle kobudoda babo, banenkangala, ngoko badinga ixesha lokuthatha isigqibo malunga nenqanaba elinoxanduva.
Iziphumo
- Ukuthandabuza kwamadoda atshatileyo kunokubangelwa zizizathu ezahlukeneyo.
- Umntu ngamnye ufuna indlela ekhethekileyo, ethathela ingqalelo iimpawu zakhe zengqondo nezezengqondo.
- Ukunyamezela kunye nokuzithembakisa ukoyikisa amadoda, ngenxa yoko akufuneki ubeke i-ultimatum kwaye uhlala umkhumbuzi ngomtshato.