Ukuhlukana nomuntu othandekayo kuthathwa njengokuvunguza kwesiphetho, ukuphela komhlaba. Ukulahlekelwa yintshisekelo empilweni nokuzithemba kuvame ukuba khona kubantu abasinda kwigebe. Kwabanye le nkathi, kunzima kangangokuba bangazi ngempela ukuthi bangakunqoba kanjani. Isivunguvungu semizwelo siyabhalwa esifubeni, futhi ukucekela phansi imicabango kukhula ekhanda, kuze kufike ezinhlelweni zokuzibulala. Kepha akufanele unqotshwe kubo. Ngokuhamba kwesikhathi, izinhlungu zizosindiswa, futhi amathiphu wezengqondo azosiza ekusindeni ukuhlukana ngokushesha futhi kube lula.
Ukuhlukanisa nesithandwa sakho ukuphela kwempilo?
Vele akunjalo. Lesi ngesinye sezikhathi ezibucayi ezingashintsha impilo yakho ibe ngcono, ngakho-ke akufanele uphelelwe yithemba. Ngokuvamile, umbono omubi kangaka wokuphela kobudlelwano ubukhulu ngenxa yezitshalo eziningi ngothando. Uchungechunge namaNovels akhuluma ngothando lwaphakade noyedwa kuphela, injabulo eyayimiselwe ukuphela. Futhi lolu thando lwashayeka lushaye ukushaya. Manje? Injabulo ayinakwenzeka?
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Mhlawumbe, kodwa okokuqala sizohlaziya izinkolelo zamanga ezisenza sisabele ngobuhlungu ekuhlukaniseni:
- Ubudlelwano empilweni yinto ebaluleke kakhulu. Siphoqelela lo mbono, sisiphoqa ukuthi sicabange ebudlelwaneni obubaluleke kakhulu. Ngokuqinisekile babalulekile, kepha abawavimbanga ngenxa yokulahlwa kobuntu babo. Uthando olunjalo luzobiza kakhulu.
- Uthando lwaphakade. Eqinisweni, akukho buhlobo obungahlala kuze kube phakade. Ngisho nalabo abagcina konke izimpilo zabo bashintsha inqubo. Uma abantu behamba ngempilo ngezindlela ezihlukile, khona-ke ubudlelwano buzobaphuza kuphela, futhi ngeke kuholele kunoma yini enhle.
- Okhethiweyo uyathunyelwa. Abanye abantu bacabanga ukuthi babathumele, omunye ngeke ahluke. Akunasidingo sokushintsha isibopho senjabulo yakho ezulwini, akekho ongakuvimba futhi ukuba ujabule.
- Uthando luzonqoba konke. Ezinye izinto uthando akufanele zinqobe.
Imvamisa amantombazane abhekene nokuhlukana nomuntu othandekayo onesisindo esindayo, ngoba lezi zinkolelo zihleli kakhulu kuzo. Ngaphezu kwalokho, umphakathi udinga ukuthi lona wesifazane ashade futhi abelethe ingane, ngaphandle kwalokho uyazisola futhi afane nangobudala obunesizungu. Ukwesaba ukuhlala kowesifazane kunamandla kunakwabesilisa.
Okungafanele ukwenze ngemuva kokuhlukana
Kwesinye isikhathi, ukuzama ukuminza izinhlungu ekuhlukaniseni, abantu benza imisebenzi ehlanganayo eholela ezinkingeni ezinkulu.
Ngakho-ke, yini okungadingi ukwenziwa ngemuva kokuphuka nengxenye yakho:
- Yenza ubudlelwane obusha. Ngakho-ke zama ukuvala umgodi enhliziyweni nenye indoda. Kepha kuzoholela kuphi? Lesi isifiso esingenangqondo sokujaha ekwamukeleni kokuqala kokuqala singaphenduka ukuhlukana okusha. Awuphuluki ubuhlungu bakho, futhi wenze umlingani omusha ulimaze.
- Strip konke okungathi sína. Ama-goules, utshwala, ubuwula ubulili. Kukhona labo abazokweluleka ngqo le ndlela, kepha kunezindlela ezisebenza ngempumelelo futhi ezingezinhle zokusinda ekuhlukaniseni. Ikakhulu njengoba le ndlela kungenzeka ingafiki kuwe, futhi izinhlungu zokulahlekelwa zizokwengeza amahloni ngokuziphatha kwazo noma umuzwa wokuthi wawusetshenziswa.
- Landela impilo yangaphambili. Bheka isimo sayo ekuxhumaneni nomphakathi, cabanga ngezithombe, funda ngempilo yakhe kubantu engijwayelene nabo. Ngalesi ucela kuphela inxeba, wamukela njengeqiniso lokuthi ubudlelwano buphelile, futhi uyeke ukwenza wena njenge-maniac.
- Sola sonke isitezi esiphikisanayo ngokwenzekile. Nabesifazane nabesilisa bakha izinhlungu. Uma intombazane ikuphonsa omunye komunye, akufanele uye ezimoneni futhi ubheke ukuthi owesibili uza. Awudingi ukususa umuzwa womuntu oyedwa kubo bonke abanye futhi usondele kuwe ngokuzayo kwenjabulo.
Amathiphu wezazi zezengqondo ezizosiza Ukusinda Ukuhlukana
Okokuqala, zama ukubona isimo lapho ukhona, futhi uthathe imizwa yakho. Nquma ngokwakho ukuthi awukakulungeli ubuhlobo obusha, udinga ukucabanga konke futhi ukhiphe izifundo kulokhu okwenzekile. Isimo esinjalo sizokuvumela ukuthi ukhumule imizwa ehlushwa umphefumulo futhi uzibheke ohlangothini. Lalela wena bese uzama ukuthola ukuvumelana ngaphakathi. Vele, lokhu kuzothatha isikhathi, ungaphuthumi. Vele ukhumbule ukuthi konke kuyahamba. Uma ukwahlukana kudale ukulimala okuqinile kwengqondo, thintana nochwepheshe ozokusiza usinde esikhathini esinzima.
Kepha ungazisiza wena nawe. Ukuze wenze lokhu, zama ukulandela izincomo zezengqondo:
- Ungayeki imizwa ebhubhisayo. Akulula, kepha ungabavumeli ukuba bazishaye indiva. Zama ukuphazamisa, cabanga ngento enhle. Uma unikeza ukudana kokuthwebula ingqondo yakho, ukuphuma kuyo kuzoba nzima kakhulu.
- Chitha isikhathi nabathandekayo nabangane. Bazokusiza dissivel, ukukhuluma, ukwesekwa ngesikhathi esinzima.
- Ngena kulokho okuthandayo. Kungaba umdlalo omdala noma umdlalo omusha. Into esemqoka ukuthi iletha imizwa emnandi futhi ingaphazamisa ukucabanga okungalungile.
- Bheka umlingani wangaphambili. Imvamisa abantu bavame ukuqwala ngokweqile, ikakhulukazi amantombazane. Isithombe esifanele asinikezi ukuphumula, kepha uma kucatshangelwa kakhulu, izimfanelo ongeke uzithande zingabonakaliswa. Kuzosiza ekususeni okwedlule ngesisekelo bese ukhohlwa ngokushesha.
- Zithathe. Ezemidlalo zisiza ukuqeda imizwa engemihle, futhi kuzokwenza futhi ube muhle ngokwengeziwe, okuzosiza ukukhulisa ukuzithemba okuwile. Bhalisela izivivinyo, izinqubo zokuhlobisa. Lokhu kuzothuthukisa imizwa yakho kanye nesimo sakho.
- Faka isiphambano esinesibindi ebudlelwaneni obususelwa. Khipha imicabango mayelana nokuhlangana kabusha okungenzeka, ngaphandle kwalokho uzophila kwimodi yokulinda.
- Zithande. Yazi ukuthi unokwabanele, nguwe kuphela onesibopho senjabulo yakho, futhi akekho omunye. Ngokukhethekile ngokuqinile ngalabo abalindile kulobu budlelwano obuhlobene, okungelona ngaphakathi. Kuze kube lapho emphefumulweni wakho ungazithandi, abanye ngeke bakwazi ukugcwalisa lokhu kuyize.
- Shintsha umbono wakho wobudlelwano. Thatha izifundo ozitholile. Ungazikhohlisi, kepha unqume ngekusasa, hlobo luni lobuhlobo olifunayo nokuthi silindele umlingani.
- Thuthukisa. Izonikeza ukuzethemba, kanye nokuphendula ngemicabango emibi.
- Zithathe umsebenzi noma ufunde. Amakilasi amaningi, isikhathi esincane sokuhlupheka. Kodwa ungapheli ngokweqile - ukuzilethela ukukhathala kunoma yini okuhle kuzoholela.
Iziphetho Eziyinhloko
- Ukuhlukana nempilo yakho oyithandayo akupheli. Ngokuphambene nalokho, ungakushintsha kube ngcono.
- Izinkolelo zomphakathi zibeka ama-stereotypes kithi, ezinikeza ukubaluleka ngokweqile ukuze ulondoloze ubudlelwano.
- Ngemuva kokuqhuma, awudingi ukushesha futhi wenze amaphutha. Thatha isimo sakho bese ususa izifundo ngokwenzekile.
- Thatha ujabulele, ujabule ngokuxhumana nabathandekayo. Kuzosiza ekuhlanganeni nasekutholeni injabulo.